December 15, 2010

Collective Decision

When anyone OFTEN talks about securing a "collective or consensual decision" to take an action, understand he is either

  • not sufficiently empowered OR
  • not a risk taker OR
  • a politician by nature OR
  • shies away from responsibilities OR
  • has no guts to take a bold decision
Watchout! Cause he is an ally of collectivism, and not merit. When collectivism heads against merit, he will kill merit for the sake of collectivism. He would rather wait for the collective - which includes the jokers, bums and the wicked - and waste time for them to arrive at a "consensual decision", than take a timely decision.
PS: Guess Ayn Rand would agree to this :)

December 14, 2010

One night at the call center

One night at the call Center: Just an ok book.
One paragraph, which I liked is:
A bad boss is like a disease of the soul. If you have one for long enough, you get convinced something is wrong with you. Even though you know he is the real loser, you start doubting yourself. And that is when your self-confidence goes.

December 11, 2010

My Private Theater

Have you been into a private theater...? I mean, physically stepped into one...? No...?
Have you peeked into one...; just a peek... forget the strolling part...? No...?
Am sure you have an idea on how a private theater would look like - Thanks to our bollywood movies.

I too had an idea about how it would look like.

Ever since I got this idea, I used to day-dream about me watching a movie in a private theater: Yes... Just me in the theater... and no one else. (Well... no harm in having my girl along with me. But that's it... Just two souls, for whom the entire theater is dedicated.)

Can you imagine the sight of the entire front rows being vacant? Just for you?
The whole show playing? Just for you?
Wow! You should be filthy rich to realize that dream. Isn't it?

Last week I realized that "day-dream".

I went on a weekday to a multiplex to watch Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Se. When I strolled into the theater, there was one couple sitting in the backmost row. I settled somewhere in the middle, and had this illusion of the entire theater being dedicated to me.

It cost me just 30 dirhams :) And the size of the theater was far larger than that of a private one :)

March 28, 2010


Read Succsex by RVM - A book one should definitely NOT buy to read!! RVM or Ravi Melwani is the Kids Kemp guy from Bangalore. He lacks writing skills.

95% of the book is bull shit - and most of its content a repeat – a copy-paste – of what has been mentioned in different pages of the same book. The 100 page book could have been easily shrunk into a 5 page pamphlet. Alas, the author will not be able to sell his book. So he stretched it and stretched it – just like how a Sales or Business guy would do. Well... after all he is from a business background. What else one should expect?

Transmutation is definitely a rummy topic. I-net is a better source of info on transmutation. The book is not. It is an infinite pointer to a pointer - a circular liked-list - with very little content.

March 22, 2010

Keep Off the Grass; and 2 States

I recently read two books:

1) Keep Off the Grass by Karan Bajaj: I liked it. If you are confused with what is happening in your career-life..., read it. It promises no solution to your woes and confusion. But will tell you that, you are not alone in this rat racing world; that there are lots many confused souls [Peace be with them]. You will lose nothing, but gain, if you step back from the rat race and think for a while; and then enjoy the beauty of your life. I read it while I was on a flight. A sure page turner.

2) 2 States by Chetan Bhagat: Good time-pass book. Chetan's success lies in the fact that many metro Indians can relate to his stories. Besides he leverages the IIT/IIMA brand name quite well.

A few interesting excerpts from the book is listed down. Disclaimer: They are NOT "quotable quotes"; but '"interesting" observations.

Verma: Swaminathan, do you know why they made you deputy GM and sent me to become GM?
Swaminathan: Why?
Verma: Because South Indians are top class number two officers, but horrible in number one position
Swaminathan: Maybe Verma is right. We hate the limelight. We believe knowledge is not for showing off. If I do good work, people should notice me. I cannot go sell myself like that shameless Verma. Ten years back I had offers from MNC banks. But I stayed loyal to my bank. And I was patient to get my turn to be GM. Now, I have five years to retire and they send this rascal North Indian.
Chetan: If you don’t have marketing skills, then better admit that than take a moral high ground about knowledge. You have done good work, let the world know. What the hell is cheap or shameless about that? From now on, make sure that people know about the work you do. Look at my boss. He copies the country manager on everything. You definitely have to get noticed, you don’t have to do the work. That’s how corporates work, everyone knows it.

Chetan’s Mom: Don’t take any nonsense from these Madrasis. Give it back to them. They get scared fast.

In an Indian love marriage, by the time everyone gets on board, one wonders if there is any love left.

My mother did not respond. She switched to her favorite soap where a son was throwing his old parents out of his house. She cried along with the TV parents, correlating their situation to hers. Yeah right, she was staying in Park Hyatt and ate four kinds of ice-creams and bread pudding for dessert. But, of course, all sons are villains playing into the hands of their wives.

The world’s most sensible person and the biggest idiot both stay within us. The worst part is, you can’t even tell who is who.

Swaminathan: So why do parents object to love marriage. It is not only about another community. It is the fact your daughter has found a boy for herself. We as parents feel disobeyed, left out and disappointed. We bring our children up from babies to adults, how can they ignore us like this? All our frustration comes out in anger. Actually, the choice is simple. When your child decides to love a new person, you can either see it as a chance to hate some people – the person they choose and their families – Or you can see it as a chance to love some more people. And since when did loving more people become a bad thing.

March 21, 2010

Jack and Jill - 24x7 channel

One of the interesting fwds I have received in recent times...

Here is how the an Indian 24x7 TV news channel would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious.

Prashant - TV Anchor

Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story.

Amrita Shah

Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant.


Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill?


Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack"]


What news of Jack and Jill?


Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.

Shahid Trivedi

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled"]


Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?

Shahid Trivedi

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water.


And what happened next?

Shahid Trivedi

Jack fell down and broke his crown


Go on.

Shahid Trivedi

And Jill came tumbling after.


Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio Prashant.

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Water errand ends in tragedy"]


I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?


Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far.

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down

And broke his crown

And Jill came tumbling after.

Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack’s fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we’re overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and – this is the key – Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped.


Professor thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons – Jack and Jill – went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Bush says rent-boy menage-a-trois was "just a brief lapse of judgement", and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised. We’ll be right back...

Courtesy fwded mail from Ksheama

February 13, 2010


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

January 03, 2010 blocked from China is blocked from China mainland. Many a times there were interesting experiences - which I wanted to key down. For example,
  • Do you know how frog meat tastes? It tastes between chicken and fish.
  • It is difficult to get snake meat because China govt. has banned eating snake.
  • Eating with chopsticks is just a matter of practice...
  • The catholic prayer hall where I went was quite crowded. (Yes... I'm talking about Communist China)
  • India should get rid of its bastard corrupt bureaucrats and polliticans to catch up with China in growth. China is 20 to 30 yrs ahead of India.
And so goes the list...

It was a wonderful trip. And I really wished to stay back, explore & understand China.

But then... I had promises to keep. :-) So here I am - back in India - wishing you, the whole world and China a very happy 2010.

PS: Question: Can someone read these wishes from China mainland?

November 14, 2009

Drinking wine is an Art??!!

It is funny... They say drinking wine is an art! One has to first inhale its aroma; then take tiny sips; hold it in the mouth for a while and slowly gulp it.

Isn't it like like telling shitting is an art!
One has to hold it for a while, enjoy the pressure, and release it slowly.

Holy crap!

When I shared my view with my friend, she said it was "bad comparison". That I cannot compare something beautiful and elegant with something bad just because I was in no mood to appreciate it. That people can recognize where the grapes are grown by tasting wine - whether they are grown near sea or mountains. She said she thought it was exotic.

"Well... people can recognize what you ate by getting an air of your fart".

With my response, we ended our conversation

What do you think? Isn't this "wine art" stuff a marketing gimmick?

October 25, 2009

Advantage Women

While going through the flickr of a lady, I came across a few flattering comments written by a few netizen guys. The uploaded photos were quite ordinary. The comments - to any guys' naked eyes - were nothing, but an over zealous attempt of a guy to win favor from the girl - in the form of sugar coated RSVP. The i-net doesn't have dearth for guys who enjoy promoting the women talent ;-)

From the lady's reply to those comments, it was quite obvious that she was quite happy and motivated. And I was sure that she will practice more and improve her photography skills. The universe was conspiring to help her improve her skills.

While reading Che's "Motor Cycle diaries", I came across his experience of requesting a few folks for a photo shoot: "I asked if they will pose for a photo, which they categorically refused to do".

It reminded me of my own experience.

A few years back, while I was on a trip, I came across an interesting human subject, whom I wanted to capture in my celluloid. I went to him, and requested to pose for a snap. He sternly rejected my polite request.
"Perhaps it is the way I asked" I consoled myself.
After a few minutes, my lady co-traveler went and asked him the same question. And guess what..? He readily agreed!

Over the past few years this has repeated with regular intervals and incredible precision. The subject - male or female - entertains requests from ladies more than that from guys. Which brings me to another observation: Look at the blogosphere. You would see more 'ardent' fans and followers of lady bloggers than guy bloggers.

Alright... So, what point I'm trying to drive in? As the Alchemist would say "When a person desires something and ventures out for it, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his/her dream.”

I would go one step ahead and add to it: “It encourages and nudges the person towards his/her goal. In the modern times, this is more applicable to a girl* than a guy.”

So feminists..., it is advantage women :-)

* middle/upper class girls

October 19, 2009

The Motorcycle Diaries

Read "Che" Guevera's " The MotorCycle Diaries"

Nothing special about the book...

There are a few interesting excerpts, which I'm listing down below.

The old man's prophecy in the last chapter. This is perhaps the best excerpt in the entire book.
The future belongs to the people and gradually, or in one strike, they will take power, here and in every country.

The terrible thing is, the people need to be educated , and this they cannot do without taking power, only after. They can only learn at the cost of their own mistakes, which will be very serious and will cost many innocent lives. Or perhaps not, maybe those lives will not have been innocent because they will have committed the huge sin against nature: meaning a lack of ability to adapt. All of them, those unable to adapt - you and I for example - will die cursing the power they helped, through great sacrifice, to create.

Revolution is impersonal; it will take their lives, even utilizing their memory as an example or as an instrument for domesticating the youth who follow them. My sin is greater because, I, more astute and with greater experience, call it what you like, will die knowing that my sacrifice stems only from an inflexibility symbolizing our rotten civilization, which is crumbling. I also know - and this wont alter the course of history or your personal view of me - that you will die with a clenched fist and tense jaw, the epitome of hatred and struggle, because you are not a symbol (some inanimate example) but a genuine member of the society to be destroyed; the spirit of the beehive speaks through you and motivates your action. You are as useful as I am, but you are not aware of how useful your contribution is to the society that sacrifices you.

Che's observation on Blacks and Whites. His observation can be generalized and extended to other races. It explains why the poor remain poor and the rich richer.
Discrimination and poverty unite the black and whites in the daily fight for survival. But their different ways of approaching life separate them completely; the black is indolent and a dreamer; spending his meager wage on frivolity or drink; the European has a tradition of work and saving, which has pursued him as far as this corner of America and drives him to advance himself, even independently of his own individual aspiration.

Che's observation on gifted alpha males. Context: Valdivia's conquest of Chile
Caesar, once proclaimed he would rather be first-in-command in some humble Alpine village than second-in-command in Rome. There are a few men who belong to that special class, in whom a carving for limitless power is so extreme that any suffering to achieve it seems natural.

Che's observation on how to enjoy scenic beauties - not jut by letting it go past your car window, but by immersing yourself in it. If you enjoy traveling, you will be able to relate to it
Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days

October 03, 2009

A movie

The beautiful empty street, dressed in night, enticed us to take a stroll on it. After the sumptuous dinner, a saunter looked perfect. The silence, which surrounded us, magnified the beauty of the the partly lit street clad in its night gown.

We let silence speak between us for a while...

After some time she broke the silence. "Yesterday we watched a movie..." She was referring to herself and her sister
"A stupid one..."
"Why stupid?"
"It had this stupid scene..."
[ Silence ]
I looked at her, expecting her to continue...
She continued: "It had lot of nude scenes..."
Now..., THAT caught my TRUE attention...
"Who is the actress?" I tried to be casual
"Kate Winslet..."
"Wow...!!! " My mind said to myself.
With excitement suppressed - I asked in a controlled tone: "What is the name of the movie?"
"The reader"
"Wow... Okay... Once I reach my place, the first thing I'm gonna do is rent out that movie" I blurted.

She glared at me, and I returned a grin.


I did rent out "The reader" and watched it. Yes... My initial intention was to see some "Kate nude" scenes. But as the movie progressed, I realized I'm watching a wonderful movie with a brilliant story line!! I loved the script, the direction, and the acting. No wonder Kate Winslet got an Academy Award for her role.

Given below are some of the interesting dialogues of the movie


ROHL: Societies think they operate by something called morality. But they don’t. They operate by something called law. You’re not guilty of anything merely by working at Auschwitz. 8,000 people worked at Auschwitz. Precisely 19 have been convicted, and only 6 for murder. To prove murder you have to prove intent. That’s the law. Remember, the question is never ‘Was it wrong?’ but ‘Was it legal?’ And not by our laws, NO, by the laws at the time.


JUDGE: Did you not realize you were sending these women to their deaths?
He waits. HANNA nods slightly.
HANNA: Yes but there were new arrivals, new women were arriving all the time, so of course we had to move some of the old ones on.
JUDGE: I’m not sure you understand...
HANNA: We couldn’t keep everyone. There wasn’t room.
The JUDGE frowns, genuinely surprised that she doesn’t seem to understand his point.
JUDGE: No, but what I’m saying : let me rephrase : to make room, you were picking women out and saying ‘You you and you have to be sent back to be killed.’
HANNA: Well, what would you have done?


JUDGE: The first thing I’m asking is, why didn’t you unlock the doors?
HANNA takes a look to the other DEFENDANTS. For the first time her poise is crumbling.
HANNA: Obviously. For the obvious reason. We couldn’t.
JUDGE: Why? Why couldn’t you?
HANNA: We were guards. Our job was to guard the prisoners. We couldn’t just let them escape.
JUDGE: I see. And if they escaped, then you’d be blamed, you’d be charged, you might even be executed?
JUDGE: Well then?
The JUDGE waits.
HANNA: If we opened the doors, then there would have been chaos. How could we have restored order? It happened so fast. It was snowing. The bombs - There were flames all over the village. Then the screaming began. It got worse and worse. And if they’d all come rushing out, we couldn’t just let them escape. We couldn’t. We were responsible for them.
JUDGE: So you did know what was happening? You did know? You made a choice. You let them die rather than risk letting them escape.


DIETER: I started out believing in this trial, I thought it was great, now I think it’s just a diversion.
ROHL: Yes? Diversion from what?
DIETER: You choose six women, you put them on trial, you say ‘They were the evil ones, they were the guilty ones’. Brilliant! Because one of the victims happened to write a book! That’s why they’re on trial and nobody else. Do you know how many camps there were in Europe?

October 02, 2009

A few unanswered questions...

A few questions of a four year old - i.e. my niece. Can you attempt answering some of those...? :-)

************ QUESTION SET 1 ***********

To her mother: "Amma, You have a few white hairs!!"
Her mom, (i.e. my sister): "Yes... every time you trouble me, each of my hair goes white"

My niece thinks for a while and says: "So Amma... when you were a kid, did you trouble grandma so much...? She has lot of white hairs..."

*********** QUESTION SET 2 ***********

Venue: Zoo; the cage of monkeys.

My brother-in-law thought this as a good opportunity to teach my niece the concept of evolution. He said: "Long time back, during the old days, we - humans - were apes - like this monkey"

My niece thinks for a while and says: "So Appa... was grandma and grandpa monkeys - when they were kids?"

*********** QUESTION SET 3 ***********

To her mother: "Amma, Is Jesus in our heart?"
Her mom: "Yes..."
My niece: "But our heart beats. If Jesus is in our heart he will be bouncing. Is that ok?"


PS: Amma means mother; Appa means father


My few-months-old nephew - Elvin - was throwing tantrums. He was crying and screaming...

My younger sister – his mother – was trying to console and clam him down...
So was my mother...
So was my brother-in-law...

But there was no relief...

That is when my four year old niece - Leya - entered the scene...

She gets onto the bed; pats the back of my nephew and says: "Don't cry. It is RECESSION... It is ok... Stop crying... " Then she turns to our stunned face... and gives her nice innocent smile.

We still have no clue from where she picked that 'recession' word. Even my nephew went silent for a while, as if acknowledging those 'words of wisdom'


Well... that happened last March. It is almost a year since that happened. I hope (and badly wish) the economy starts looking up. Else..., this time I'll be the one who will be throwing up tantrums.
And I don't have my niece around to consoled me...

September 20, 2009

Frog in the well

Are you a frog in the well?

At which stage are you? Check this --> Click here <--- and let me know :-)

September 13, 2009


Maturity: Ability to stand others' shit without reacting...

a.k.a partial deafness.

July 16, 2009

G u(a) y

A queue at KFC - eagerly waiting to control its drool with a few crispy fried chicken pieces. I'm part of that gluttonous group.

Time was crawling. That was when my eyes caught the movement of the guy in front of me. His eye-brow was pierced. And he was drawling his sweet-talk to his 'guy-friend' in a 'girlish' manner. The tone was laced with tiff: "I waaant extra maionese... Pppppplease. You know how much I lIke it." . He looked at the other guy, with a pair of eyes filled with hope & expectation - as how a girl would look at her guy - waiting for a 'yes'. His stare had the romance, and affection a mate can offer the other. I observed his demeanor for a while. Then my eyes moved from his face to his chest - just to ensure he doesn't have a pair of breasts! He didn't!

He is definitely a guy, and I'm looking at a gay couple" I mumbled to myself.

February 16, 2009


Ever since I've been following cricket, I've often wondered whether the following scenarios could really happen!!

1. An over that entertains the crowd with six sixes in an international match. Yuvraj and Gibbs did that in the past.

2. A brilliant catch in which the fielder spontaneously, but accurately, judges the trajectory of the ball, and then dives from the boundary line into the field, to grab the ball... thereby taking the wicket. Adam Voges just did something similar to that. Watch his brilliant catch...

The other unbelievable cricketing scenarios that could probably occur in the future are:

3. Scoring 36 runs in the last over to win a match

4. In a India vs Pakistan match, India hitting a six in the last ball, when the asking runs is 6. (Yeah... I can't forget that Miandad 6 at Sharjah)

5. A single bowler belting 10 wickets in a single one-day or T20 international match. Kumble and Jim Laker did that in test match and 1st class test match respectively. I'm wondering who will perform a similar feat in the other versions of the game.

6. Scoring 108 runs in three consecutive overs.

7. A direct hit (and a run out) from a fielder who covers the deep. (I believe this has already happened)

8. Zero runs and 10 wickets (Batting side is back to the pavilion).

9. 20 wickets by a single bowler in a test match.

Do you have anymore to add to this dream list? :-)

February 14, 2009

Tax on Income against the constitution?

Came across this interesting video, which argues that Income Tax is against the constitution. Not in India, but in USA - the country, which stands for personal liberty, and which has a sizable chunk of people who propounds the libertarian philosophy. The arguments put across in the video are interesting. It is amazing to see the drive, and the rationale behind the drive, to question the government on a 'taken-for-granted' item - i.e. taxation on a person's income. I wish in India too the citizens had the power to go and demand accountability from the MPs, MLAs and the Income Tax Department.

The video is a lengthy one - more than an hour ;-)

January 30, 2009

My College Campus...

Stumbled upon this video. It's about my college... Felt good to see it :-) Btw, the current campus environment has changed quite a bit...

January 29, 2009


When I woke up in the morning, I saw the old lady making a veiled attempt to open the 'hanging door' of the 3-tier-a/c-compartment. I guessed she wanted to use the rest room. She tried once again. But the stubborn door wouldn't give way. It remained hanging; and it remained stuck! She soon gave up, and slowly walked to the other end of the compartment.

The Netravati Express, in which I was traveling, was chugging towards Goa. I looked at my watch: time 6:30 AM. "Hmmm... time to freshen up" I thought. Half-awake, I climbed down from my berth, unpacked my toiletry bag, picked my toothbrush and paste, and headed towards the hanging door.

"Before I slept, this door was in perfect condition!" With that thought and curiosity I started investigating the door. There it was.... - the top hinge of the door was broken! In the night, probably, someone - eager to relieve himself/herself - might have had attempted pushing the door hard, and in that process might have broken the hinge. I nodded at myself.

"Anyways... let me get to the wash basin" I partly lifted the door and turned it over its healthy hinge. The door opened up for me, and I was out to treat my teeth with the fresh froth of the tooth paste.

By the time I returned, my father was up. He too had observed the door, which was now open, but precariously tilting, and threatening to fall on any passerby's head. He went searching for the attendant. After a few minutes he was back with the attendant. The attendant had some tools with him. Soon he was at it - fixing the broken door. I saw my father striking a healthy conversation with him...

When my father returned, I gave him a look of curiosity. I was interested to know what conversed.

My father read my mind and said "Low quality hinges!! That's why it came out. He says this has been happening since the Railways started its reform under Lalu. In the name of reform, procurement is being carried out from external vendors, which supply low quality materials - Something, as per him, which never used to happen in the past. He thinks Lalu and his coteries are taking a huge cut (read bribe) from these reforms"

"A different perspective of the famed Railwayconomics" I thought...

January 26, 2009


One of my niece's favorite cartoon hero is Mayavi. Because of that, I obviously find pleasure in pulling her legs by calling her Luttappi, whom she hates.

The “I'm Mayavi, You are Luttappi” fight keeps happening between us... - All this till recently she stumbled upon the fact: that Puttalu is Luttappi's uncle or mamman.

A few days back while I was video-chatting with her, she asked me in a cute manner "Mammanae, do you know who is Luttappi's mamman?"

Amid control laughter I decided not to call her Luttappi hereafter... - a promise hard to keep.

Btw, my niece is turning 4 years tomorrow. Happy birthday Laya...

January 25, 2009

Yo Momma...

It was just a couple of days since I had joined my engineering college. Ragging was still in vogue.

"What is your name..." The senior asked me in a harsh and threatening manner.

I gave my full name.

He singled out my last name and asked: "Who is he?"

"My father"

"How do you know?!"

I didn't understand his question. Puzzled at his question, I looked at him....

"You mother fucker..., why are you staring at me?! I asked you HOW YOU KNOW HE IS YOUR FATHER!??"

"My mother told me... " I blurted. A stupid answer. But I was in no position to 'think' and give a proper answer. Never in my life I had come across the word - 'mother fucker'. I was reeling under shock and didn't know what to say...

"Will you call anyone your father... whom your mother shows...? *%$#@" The verbal abuse continued for another half an hour
That was how I got introduced to "Yo Momma" abuses and jokes...

Enter 21st century: There are full fledged programs and competitions, such as M-TV's Yo Momma, aired regularly with the sole intention to educate our young generation on how to abuse someone's mother. I think the mission of those channels is so noble! They don't want our kids to get shocked when someone hurls verbal abuses at them and their parents.

God save the young kids from such filthy 'ingenious' programs. And God save the governments, which think such programs need no censorship.

Hit me baby one more time

The couple with whom I was having the conversation appeared to be happy. Need proof? I saw the girl 'playfully' hit the guy a few times and then, threaten him to give a couple of 'tight slaps'. She would call him all sorts of names - stupid, idiot, donkey, monkey etc etc. To which he would giggle and continue pulling her legs. As an encouragement she would hit him for each of his jokes. Some of those 'hits' appeared to be painful ones. But then, I wasn't the one who was receiving those. and hence not the right person to judge its intensity. "Had it pained, that guy would have squinched" I thought. I did notice him skillfully morph a few squinches into laughter. But then, he is a macho, and her hits were probably feather touches!

The constant thrashing went on till we parted.

While heading to my friend's place, the bashing scene kept on replaying in my mind. It wasn't the first time I was seeing such scene. But the ferocity of this one made me think. During old days... that is, during the 80s, a guy hitting a girl was no news. It was definitely considered bad. But such incidents used to happen. Such incidents hardly surprised any. In the 90s, hitting a girl became a taboo... The society would look down upon such a guy. Come to the current decade: hitting the boy friend or husband is the fad of the town. Observe any couple for a while. Chances are high that you will see the girl hit the guy. It is the fashion!! You know! That is how a girl declares her legitimacy and power over the guy! You will see around the guy's neck an invisible board, which declares "punch bag of my girl friend or wife". It reminds me of the dialogue in the movie - He was a quiet man. It goes something like this...
It was easier in the past...
A man knew what it was to be a man...

Then something happened

We passed laws on decency
Lawyers became our shepherds
And what was once a fairly easy thing to understand became muddled in the bureaucracy of what we call 'being civilized'.

Women demanded equality and she got it
Not by getting everything the man had…
But by the man being castrated in the form of order.

I don't care what you say

This is not progress
This is not evolution

Yeah.. public display of hitting... that too in the name of love... is definitely not progress or 'being civilized'. Now, if you are a guy, don't bother asking a girl about what she thinks of hitting a guy. She would most probably declare it as 'cute' and 'loving'!!

There are many times when I've tried to picturize the reverse. That is, the guy hitting the girl and calling her 'donkey' in front of her friends. What could probably happen? Experts in girl psychology say that the world could split into two.

With all those thoughts, and a smile on my lips, I enter my friend's house. He was watching the television. Tata Sky's ad was playing on. The scene: Gul Panag is hitting Aamir Khan with a pillow.

January 24, 2009

Chaar seat chodkar beithna

Bangalore Passport Office. My friend has to meet the officer for passport related work.

He reaches the office very early in the morning, that is well before the office opens, lest to avoid the rush and queue. Outside the gate, the queue had already started forming. He is third in the queue. "Lucky me" He thinks. He can complete the work sooner than expected.

After half an hour of wait, the gate-man opens the gate. The queue moves in a line to the counter where it is actually supposed to form. There are a few chairs placed near the counter so that people can "sit and wait" instead of "stand and wait". The early birds, including my friend, are about to sit on those chairs when the security officer arrives and sternly says "Chaar seat chodkar beithna", which means "Sit after leaving the 1st four seats".

My friend is obviously puzzled. Why leave the 1st four seats? He thinks about it for a while and then choose to ignore the incident. As the wait continues, he sees a lady alight from a Benz. Clad in an expensive sari and layered in makeup, she walks slowly towards the start of the queue. The security personnel welcomes her with a broad smile and politely asks her to sit it the first chair of the queue – well ahead of those who have been waiting.

"Corruption starts at the lower most rug" My friend thought.