December 18, 2006

Brain upgrade

Does it bother u that i ping u sometimes?” A good friend of mine IMed me that question. I knew the reason behind that question. For the past few weeks, my IMs were getting shorter and shorter and emitted less warmth. What to do… Past weeks saw many things running in parallel through my brain. The parallel processing capacity of my brain is very bad and my mind doesn't do a good context-switching. I wish I could upgrade my brain ;-) Anyways, the result of this poor show by my brain is reflecting in my interpersonal relationship. I wish human beings, esp. me, had a better context-switching programmed in their brain. Perhaps the distant future can offer some solution to it. And perhaps, in the near future, I can train my brain to be more careful not to let my surroundings know that I'm very poor in multi-tasking and context-switching...

The Candy Dish

Once upon a time, when I went to US to work in the US branch of my company, my friends and I came across this cubicle of a lady, who used to keep lot of candies in a dish on her desk. She used to leave the dish, filled with mouth-watering candies, out in the open. If you have been to US, you would be knowing that it is a common practice to leave candies, pastries etc in the common place/room/desk to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries etc. Please note the word "common place/room/desk"; NOT private cubicles or desks.

Just as how cats and fishes are inseparable, we unsophisticated, naive Indians found those candies quite hard to resist. The late night work, growling stomach and the unguarded candy dish - brimming with chocolates - made us commit that crime: Every night, we started picking a few candies from that dish. The longer the night stay, the more the chocolates started vanishing. Soon the true owner of the candies - the lady - realized that there is something fishy going on. She locked her candy dish in her cabinet and thus ended our rendezvous with her candies.


We thought the story ended there. But we were wrong. A few years later, Scott Adams published this story in his cartoon...







When not to download your mentation...

Sometimes it is dangerous to share a piece of thought. If you find yourself struggling to contain the thought in words, that is when you should realize the lingering of the danger - of misinterpreting your thought. Certain thoughts are not meant to be expressed. Your lose grip on the language would have clamped down your ability to let that thought express itself freely, in its full form. A mentation expressed partially can cost you dear. Quoting your thought out-of-context and dragging you to a full blown argument is just one of the results of the inability of the listener to digest your thought properly.

The linguistic skill of the listener or reader also has got an impact... but relatively less. If the numbers of such folks are in majority, or that particular person is important to you, it is better to keep the thought to you. Lest you will hurt yourself.

There is another place where you should not express your thoughts or ideas - in a big meeting. If you are having a genuine, nice piece of idea, which is out-of-the-box, and you do not want to see it being gang raped, keep mum. Express it at the right place and get the concurrence from the crucial members before taking it to such a large gathering.

Love and Freedom

They say that... if you love somebody, set that person free. If he comes back he is yours.

I believe in it.

This line of thought has a hidden meaning encapsulated in it. Not many notices. Yes, the conspicuous and obvious subjects of that thought are lovers. But there are other relationships, bound with love, which comes within the realm of that philosophy. Relationships like parent-AdultChild, sibling-sibling, husband-wife, friend-friend etc. can't escape from the gravitation pull of it.

When the definition of love is taken in a broader sense and the element called 'control' is brought into picture, the hidden meaning rises from obscurity.

Control!? Yep... the nemesis of freedom: Your grown-up-son loves adventure sports. But you don't like him doing that because you fear it will kill him. Hence you control him! Your husband loves golf. But you hate him playing that. Hence you emotionally blackmail him and control him!

How many times have you tried to control your loved ones? How many times have you tried to prevent them from doing what they like, because you dislike what they enjoy? How many times have you tried to emotionally blackmail them... all this because you don't agree with what they do! That 'control' might work for a few times. Not for ever. Initially, 'control' did well because it had the backing of 'love'. And that 'love' takes the beating when you start exercising 'control'. Love - that bound you with you deared ones - fades away into oblivion, and control will soon find itself lonely, unable to exercise its power anymore.

The best way to control a person, if you ever want to, is to hand over the rein to him and not even dream of controlling him - a tough ask! Assuming you can reason out with that person, let him know that you don't agree with what that person does. Let him also know that you support what he does because you know that he enjoys doing it. When you say that, MEAN EVERY WORD OF IT. Full stop! Now hold the hands of patience and see how beautiful life can get. See how beautiful turns it can take you through. Love sans control can gift you the most beautiful life you could have ever dreamt of.

Control is a cage. Love can't survive in that cage. That simile reminds me of Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes. He narrates a short story that conveys the same message. Here it goes...
Once upon a time, there was a bird. He was adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colorful, marvelous feathers. In short, he was a creature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him.

One day, a woman saw the bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two traveled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated that bird.

But then she thought: He might want to visit far-off mountains! And she was afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird's ability to fly.

And she felt alone.

And she thought: 'I'm going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again.'

The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.

She looked at the bird every day. There he was, the object of her passion, and she showed him to her friends, who said: 'Now you have everything you could possibly want.' However, a strange transformation began to take place: now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of his life, began to waste away and his feathers to lose their gloss; he grew ugly; and the woman no longer paid him any attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage.

One day, the bird died. The woman felt terrible sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day when she had seen him for the first time, flying contentedly amongst the clouds.

If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not his physical body.

Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at her door. 'Why have you come?' she asked Death. 'So you can fly once more with him across the sky,' Death replied. 'If you had allowed him to come and go, you would have loved and admired him even more; alas, you now need me in order to find him again.'


December 15, 2006

Invitation Card...

Got this invitation card. Isn't it innovative and brilliant ?

Inspire... ! Once again...

If the chips are down and you need an inspirational fillip, go to The-Race-Movie.com. If you feel that is not enough go here and here.

What is Power?

Let us see what type of a guy/gal you are...

Plot background: Somebody did something terrible to you. That incident pains you a lot. You have every right to avenge.

Now... imagine you are a poor fellow incapable to avenge. You know you can do nothing. HENCE you decide not to avenge.
Conclusion on what kinda guy/gal you are?: You are a coward. But you have common sense. Perhaps, a tinge of laziness lingers around you.

Let us consider another scenario. Say, you are capable to avenge. But you choose not to, because you think that will drain your valuable time and resources. This, as per you, is not worth the effort to avenge.
Conclusion: You are smart and cool. Common sense and brain controls your nerves.

Another scenario: Imagine that you are capable to avenge and have the resources and time to do so. But you choose not to. And that Mr. Somebody, who hurt you, is made aware of that fact.
Conclusion: You are a powerful fellow bestowed with wisdom.

The dialogue below, from Schindler's list, will corroborate what I have stated above...
Goeth: You are never drunk. That is real control. Control is power.
Schindler: Is that why they fear us?
Goeth: They fear us because, if the fucking they don't, we have the power to kill them.
Schindler: They don’t fear us because we have the power to kill, they fear us because we have the power to kill "arbitrarily". A man commits a crime, he should know better. We have him killed, we feel pretty good about it. Or we kill him ourselves and we feel even better. That’s not power, though, that’s justice. That’s different than power. Power is when we have every justification to kill – and we don’t. That’s power.
Goeth: You think that's power?!
Schindler: That’s what the emperors had. A man stole something, he’s brought in before the emperor, he throws himself down on the floor, he begs for mercy, he knows he’s going to die … and the emperor pardons him. This worthless man. He lets him go. That’s power. That’s power.
Goeth: I think you are drunk!
Was Schindler really drunk? Think...



December 14, 2006

Another Barbara who inspires others...

Is there something in the name Barbara? This Barbara too... just.... INSPIRES! Barbara Geurra, you are simply an amazing woman.



December 13, 2006

Directions to Devarayandurga

DevaranyaDurga - a few rocky hillocks - located 70 Kms from Bangalore is just an okay place to hangout. You will find this place on the Bangalore-Tumkur Highway (NH4). It comes after Shivagange and the CofeeDay joint on NH4. A right turn at Kyatsandra bus stand, which comes on NH4, will take you to DevaranyaDurga. After taking the right turn you will have to travel for another 2 kms, crossing the Matt and schools.

Warning: You will find kids at every nook and corner of the rocks. Here, privacy is an alien concept. As usual escaping the Bangalore traffic is the greatest challenge.



December 06, 2006

Arranged Marriage

The woods were lovely dark and deep. Walking slowly beside her, in the damp mud road, was her husband whom she barely knew. He was very relaxed, happily watching a group of kids playing at a distance.Her "mehandi" was still dark and smelling fresh, reminding of the excitements and tension 2 days back. "It cant work this way mom...please stop this", she kept telling her mother till the last moment,who wouldnt listen but carry on with beautifying her.She had been crying all night and her make-up had to be patched up twice or thrice to hide her awkwardly swollen face.It was too late now.She had to get married "NOW" to the guy...The guy whom she had seen once and talked thrice.The guy about whom she knew nothing at all but for his name and work.Everything happened in a hurry and everthing was over before she could breathe again... here was she with this guy, all alone in this hill station... how can anybody send their daughter such a long distance with a stranger??? "Hey look at that....!!!" he shouted in excitement... she shrugged and looked where his finger pointed...Bright colored balloons dotted the sky. Children were jumping in joy and he seemed to be completely absorbed into it...colors are always exciting...but not now.She was not with her friends, not with her team mates, not even with her parents. This was not a 3 day tour or team building trip.This was her life and she has been forced to start off with this person.

Loneliness and discomfort with this stranger was sickening...She looked at him in wonder... does he even realize that he has married me?Does he understand that he has to love me,protect me,care for me,a new girl,a stranger,all his life? The marriage morning started like a daylight nightmare for her.The first time in life she felt she should have fallen in love and then married somebody. some man who she would have felt more comfortable with, someone whom she could call by name and introduce to friends, someone whom she could trust. But marriage morning was obviously not the time to think all these.Her parents would never have said "no" if she had declared that she was in love.But she was not emotionally attached to anybody she met,especially guys.She was very friendly,playing,teasing, but never had second thought for any man around her.That brought the entire responsibility of looking for a groom on her parents' shoulders.Her parents had had a very bad time with this entire process.They started their groom search with unending "&" operation. The concatenation of "Horoscope matching" & "Decent family" & "Good looking" & "Good pay" & "same cast" & so on... that always gave 0 output.Now after all that 8 months hunt,they were not ready to hear her "ifs" and "buts" for this 'good guy'. She had explained to her father.She does not feel anything for this person.He is nothing more to me than any other software professional.Like list of names she sees in the chat rooms. Distant and usual...Her father asked her to talk to him and even meet him and discuss their likes and dislikes.That meeting started like the induction programme self introduction and ended like a 3 hour seminar.She was waiting to get away from that place."So did you talk with him?"."yes"."was he polite and decent"."yes"."Oh he got that special flavoured tri-color icecream...!!!".OK.All her family and relatives discussed...She was given the chance to "understand her life partner" and that they have understood each other "well" and she is ready for the marriage now. All arrangements geared up and it was 24 days after her first meeting that she was getting married to her man... perfect match as everybody else described.Marriage hall was full with excited people, kids got the chance to play,ladies got the chance to wear the silk saree.The smell of rose and jasmine filled the hall.Different poses for the photographer and atrificial smiles for the videos.The moment he had tied the sacred thread was unexplainable vaccum in the head.It was over.She was his wife.Accepted by the society and law.Her proud parents were relaxed.This was their duty they had been planning to fulfill since she was born.All this crowd will fade away,leaving her to explore her new world...


He pulled her hand gently to sit on the stone bench.The bench was wet and the chillness was indeed enjoyable."So what are you thinking about?"... that was an unexpected ball.should she reply?should she be silent?She remembered the two hour presentation she had taken last month.Bold and confident, she kept answering all the queries with a broad smile.Now she remained silent."Do you know honey... I was not for this marriage too..." Oh my God... what did i hear??? did HE tell that or did i think aloud? what does he mean?didnt he like me?was he forced into this? He must have noticed the quizzical look on my face...with a gentle smile he continued..."I wanted to look for a girl myself,buy her everything,care for her,argue with her,laugh and cry with her,then get married to her... Anything otherwise would be a drama. Traditional drama and i was not for it anytime. But my love for my work and also my stress would not give me time and mind to search that girl...When your parents talked to me 2 weeks before our marriage, about your fear of getting married, to a stranger, i could completely understand your mind. I could see myself in you and that was the moment i decided i will marry you.There was no time to prove myself to you,make you trust me,everything happened in a hurry.But there was the entire life before me, to please you,to love you, to make you trust me.This is no less than what i had dreamt,the girl i was waiting for,is you.Now tell me... will you love me???" Tears came down her cheek.Her parents had done more than their duty.They had found her the perfect guy. Thank you Mom!!! Thank you Dad!!! His question remained unanswered yet both knew the answer....

Courtesy: Forwarded Mail


December 05, 2006

Another resignation letter...

Here's another resignation letter. A funny one that was published in Chris Kula's blog. [ Those who have not read the poetic resignation letter can read it here. ]
Dear Co-Workers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”

For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past three years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly satisfactory." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Rudy: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.

To Steven: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.

To Eileen: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these “email forwards.” I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.

To Felix: I left a new wristwatch on your desk. It is so that you might be able to still tell time even without your hourly phone call to let me know the copier is jammed. (Call Steven – he’ll come by.)

And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We’ll talk later.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

Very truly yours,
Chris Kula

PS: I will be throwing myself a happy hour farewell party at the burnt-out bar in the sub-basement of the bus station. Please do not stop by.
.

December 04, 2006

Consent

This is a funny video. Watch and enjoy!



Polyamorous

Have you come across the word 'polyamorous'? The definition in dictionary.com says: pertaining to participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships. The Mistress Matisse blog, which I stumbled upon, says: "Polyamorous means one can (and usually do) have more than one romantic relationship at a time. Poly can be a challenging and dynamic relationship."

For the conventional heart and brain, this is blasphemy. It is like having a mistress with the approval of one's wife! Polyamorous 'legalizes' this relationship. But then... this sort of relationship has been there for centuries. During old days, it was okay to have multiple wives. That was never considered as a sin. Today, in most communities, it is very bad to have multiple partners. A few years back, gay and lesbian relationships were a taboo. Today it is getting more and more acceptance. Companies like IBM conduct formal gatherings to address the concerns of gays and lesbians. I guess 'polyamorous' waits a similar fate. Today's sin and aberration might become tomorrow’s norm. As time moves, the definition of sin changes. Sin is nothing but a function of time.


Two Lives

Completed Two Lives of Vikram Seth. In the mid, even though it was a bit dragging, I liked it. Especially the ending – the flashback. It has the touch of a movie – a movie’s dream ending. In fact, I think Two Lives has a story line that can be scripted into a movie or a serial - an 'art' movie/serial... of course.

Another aspect of the book is that it makes you think about various things that happened in the 20th Century. It also makes you think about old age - yours and your parents.

Here are some of the notable quotes of the book.


Shanti: God created man, but he was lonely, and then he created woman. From that time neither has God been happy nor man...

Fred: There is no purpose of war. It is foolish. You have to sign papers at the end, so why not before.


December 03, 2006

Home sweet home

After draining the beer and wine down my throat at my friend’s, I should have anticipated this: When I woke up this morning, something seemed to be wrong. I couldn’t point out what it was. Just that my tummy was not feeling great. I heeded to my tummy’s advice and skipped my breakfast, just to ignore it in the noon, when I had a Biriyani at Anne's Mess. And that turned out to be a bad decision.

The protest of my tummy worsened in the afternoon. I could sense an indigestion coming on my way. With my fingers inside my throat, I tried to throw up the Biriyani I had stuffed in. That didn’t work! I had lots of water and I tried to ignore the cry of my tummy. I watched a movie to divert my attention. All those attempts failed. The idea of walking into a medical store and asking for Carmicide didn't please me. So I decided to try the last resort. I picked up my cell and dialed home. I asked my mom for a home made remedy. Quick came the reply: Have a glass of weak-lemon tea, very strong in lemon, stirred with more salt and less sugar.

I kept the cell, made the home-made-remedy and drank it. After a while I burped and felt the relief coming.

Tring Tring... My phone rang. It was my mother at the other end.

“How are you feeling?”
“Better. I burped. Felt good after that. I'll have the same stuff after some time.”
“No. Wait. Have this. Mix equal quantities of ginger juice, honey and lemon. And drink it.”
“Ok”
“Be careful when you extract the juice out of the ginger. Too much ginger can burn you fingers. Remember… your sister had once burned her fingers”
“Ok. I’ll take care of it”
“I'll check on you after a while.”
“Ok. Talk to you later”
“Bye”
“Bye”


I kept the receiver and thought: No matter how old you get, you can always call home! Your parents are always there to solve your problems - big or small! Isn't that lovely? Isn't that great?



December 01, 2006

How to backup your bookmarks

Ever wondered how to backup your Firefox (version 1.5) bookmarks? Here's what you will have to do: You need to backup the Firefox "Profile" Folder [ C: ->Documents and Settings -> Application Data -> Mozilla -> Firefox -> Profiles ] More Details available here