My College Campus...

Stumbled upon this video. It's about my college... Felt good to see it :-) Btw, the current campus environment has changed quite a bit...

Railwayconomics

When I woke up in the morning, I saw the old lady making a veiled attempt to open the 'hanging door' of the 3-tier-a/c-compartment. I guessed she wanted to use the rest room. She tried once again. But the stubborn door wouldn't give way. It remained hanging; and it remained stuck! She soon gave up, and slowly walked to the other end of the compartment.

The Netravati Express, in which I was traveling, was chugging towards Goa. I looked at my watch: time 6:30 AM. "Hmmm... time to freshen up" I thought. Half-awake, I climbed down from my berth, unpacked my toiletry bag, picked my toothbrush and paste, and headed towards the hanging door.

"Before I slept, this door was in perfect condition!" With that thought and curiosity I started investigating the door. There it was.... - the top hinge of the door was broken! In the night, probably, someone - eager to relieve himself/herself - might have had attempted pushing the door hard, and in that process might have broken the hinge. I nodded at myself.

"Anyways... let me get to the wash basin" I partly lifted the door and turned it over its healthy hinge. The door opened up for me, and I was out to treat my teeth with the fresh froth of the tooth paste.

By the time I returned, my father was up. He too had observed the door, which was now open, but precariously tilting, and threatening to fall on any passerby's head. He went searching for the attendant. After a few minutes he was back with the attendant. The attendant had some tools with him. Soon he was at it - fixing the broken door. I saw my father striking a healthy conversation with him...

When my father returned, I gave him a look of curiosity. I was interested to know what conversed.

My father read my mind and said "Low quality hinges!! That's why it came out. He says this has been happening since the Railways started its reform under Lalu. In the name of reform, procurement is being carried out from external vendors, which supply low quality materials - Something, as per him, which never used to happen in the past. He thinks Lalu and his coteries are taking a huge cut (read bribe) from these reforms"

"A different perspective of the famed Railwayconomics" I thought...

Luttappi

One of my niece's favorite cartoon hero is Mayavi. Because of that, I obviously find pleasure in pulling her legs by calling her Luttappi, whom she hates.

The “I'm Mayavi, You are Luttappi” fight keeps happening between us... - All this till recently she stumbled upon the fact: that Puttalu is Luttappi's uncle or mamman.

A few days back while I was video-chatting with her, she asked me in a cute manner "Mammanae, do you know who is Luttappi's mamman?"

Amid control laughter I decided not to call her Luttappi hereafter... - a promise hard to keep.

Btw, my niece is turning 4 years tomorrow. Happy birthday Laya...

Yo Momma...

It was just a couple of days since I had joined my engineering college. Ragging was still in vogue.

"What is your name..." The senior asked me in a harsh and threatening manner.

I gave my full name.

He singled out my last name and asked: "Who is he?"

"My father"

"How do you know?!"

I didn't understand his question. Puzzled at his question, I looked at him....

"You mother fucker..., why are you staring at me?! I asked you HOW YOU KNOW HE IS YOUR FATHER!??"

"My mother told me... " I blurted. A stupid answer. But I was in no position to 'think' and give a proper answer. Never in my life I had come across the word - 'mother fucker'. I was reeling under shock and didn't know what to say...

"Will you call anyone your father... whom your mother shows...? *%$#@" The verbal abuse continued for another half an hour

That was how I got introduced to "Yo Momma" abuses and jokes...

Enter 21st century: There are full fledged programs and competitions, such as M-TV's Yo Momma, aired regularly with the sole intention to educate our young generation on how to abuse someone's mother. I think the mission of those channels is so noble! They don't want our kids to get shocked when someone hurls verbal abuses at them and their parents.

God save the young kids from such filthy 'ingenious' programs. And God save the governments, which think such programs need no censorship.

Hit me baby one more time

The couple with whom I was having the conversation appeared to be happy. Need proof? I saw the girl 'playfully' hit the guy a few times and then, threaten him to give a couple of 'tight slaps'. She would call him all sorts of names - stupid, idiot, donkey, monkey etc etc. To which he would giggle and continue pulling her legs. As an encouragement she would hit him for each of his jokes. Some of those 'hits' appeared to be painful ones. But then, I wasn't the one who was receiving those. and hence not the right person to judge its intensity. "Had it pained, that guy would have squinched" I thought. I did notice him skillfully morph a few squinches into laughter. But then, he is a macho, and her hits were probably feather touches!

The constant thrashing went on till we parted.

While heading to my friend's place, the bashing scene kept on replaying in my mind. It wasn't the first time I was seeing such scene. But the ferocity of this one made me think. During old days... that is, during the 80s, a guy hitting a girl was no news. It was definitely considered bad. But such incidents used to happen. Such incidents hardly surprised any. In the 90s, hitting a girl became a taboo... The society would look down upon such a guy. Come to the current decade: hitting the boy friend or husband is the fad of the town. Observe any couple for a while. Chances are high that you will see the girl hit the guy. It is the fashion!! You know! That is how a girl declares her legitimacy and power over the guy! You will see around the guy's neck an invisible board, which declares "punch bag of my girl friend or wife". It reminds me of the dialogue in the movie - He was a quiet man. It goes something like this...

It was easier in the past...
A man knew what it was to be a man...

Then something happened

We passed laws on decency
Lawyers became our shepherds
And what was once a fairly easy thing to understand became muddled in the bureaucracy of what we call 'being civilized'.

Women demanded equality and she got it
Not by getting everything the man had…
But by the man being castrated in the form of order.

I don't care what you say

This is not progress
This is not evolution

Yeah.. public display of hitting... that too in the name of love... is definitely not progress or 'being civilized'. Now, if you are a guy, don't bother asking a girl about what she thinks of hitting a guy. She would most probably declare it as 'cute' and 'loving'!!

There are many times when I've tried to picturize the reverse. That is, the guy hitting the girl and calling her 'donkey' in front of her friends. What could probably happen? Experts in girl psychology say that the world could split into two.

With all those thoughts, and a smile on my lips, I enter my friend's house. He was watching the television. Tata Sky's ad was playing on. The scene: Gul Panag is hitting Aamir Khan with a pillow.

Chaar seat chodkar beithna

Bangalore Passport Office. My friend has to meet the officer for passport related work.

He reaches the office very early in the morning, that is well before the office opens, lest to avoid the rush and queue. Outside the gate, the queue had already started forming. He is third in the queue. "Lucky me" He thinks. He can complete the work sooner than expected.

After half an hour of wait, the gate-man opens the gate. The queue moves in a line to the counter where it is actually supposed to form. There are a few chairs placed near the counter so that people can "sit and wait" instead of "stand and wait". The early birds, including my friend, are about to sit on those chairs when the security officer arrives and sternly says "Chaar seat chodkar beithna", which means "Sit after leaving the 1st four seats".

My friend is obviously puzzled. Why leave the 1st four seats? He thinks about it for a while and then choose to ignore the incident. As the wait continues, he sees a lady alight from a Benz. Clad in an expensive sari and layered in makeup, she walks slowly towards the start of the queue. The security personnel welcomes her with a broad smile and politely asks her to sit it the first chair of the queue – well ahead of those who have been waiting.

"Corruption starts at the lower most rug" My friend thought.

This is also India...

A train journey from Bangalore to Hospet. Time:... around 7 in the morning. In another 1 hour Hospet will be at sight.

A guy - with orange T-shirt - whose berth is next-to-next of mine, is packing in anticipation of alighting soon. He appeared to be affluent. From the iPod, laptop and other electronic gadgets he was using, he appeared to be working for an MNC in Bangalore.

As he was packing, he takes one of the the white bed-sheets, which the Indian Railways offer to its passengers, brings it to his nose, and blows heavily onto it!!! I'm obviously stunned! Can anyone do such a crass act!? Never in my imagination I thought one could! I couldn't believe what I saw! How can a so-called educated person do that?!

I'm yet to believe my eyes when he lifts the next white bed-sheet and blows his nose onto that one too...!! “Bastard” I mumbled. He then, as if nothing happened, merrily packs his personal bed-sheet into his bag! Somewhere in the mid, he takes his handkerchief out and wipes his mustache... “To hell with public property. It should carry my precious mucus.” Was that what he was thinking?

As long as India has people like the one with the orange T-shirt, who has absolutely no civic sense, India will remain nothing but a backward country. Next time when you hear one of those pseudo nationalists harp on the “greatness” of Indian Culture, show them this post. The incident mentioned above is also part of the “great” Indian Culture.

Dumb or Smart?

First an incident... Then two questions.

The incident:

Venue: KFC Indiranagar

I'm scrumptiously gobbling the crispy chicken breast, but occasionally lifting my head to enjoy the CMH junction bathed in night. There is a girl sitting next to my table. She is having a loud animated conversation with her friend. When pieces of her conversation starts flying-in thick and fast, I reduce my pace of hogging, and start paying attention. She is talking about how the date with her prospective-groom went.

"When my mama showed his pic, I didn't want to meet him. But then I thought it is ok. Mama is putting so much effort. But still... I knew something was wrong. I get this feeling by looking at a person... you know what I mean... I'm that sensitive types."

"Oh... yeah?! What a surprise! Almost every girl I've met so far in this universe is 'sensitive' types! Nice to see one more namoona! (piece)" I thought.

"Did he look good?" Her friend asks with a calm voice.

"Yes... But not of my types. Anyways, I meet him. And Oh my God... It was really really funny. He was asking all stupid formal questions. He didn't know anything else to ask. And I was like asking him all questions hoping that, THAT will help him ask some sensible questions." She giggled "And you know what finally happened?" She paused

"What?"

She continued "Before we parted he stopped and asked me my name!! Can you believe it!! Isn't that so dumb!. Like asking his date's name after such a long conversation!! I was like.. WHAT!! I went back and told my mom not to let me meet any such dumbos"
....
....
Her trumpery went on...

Now the question: Was that prospective groom dumb or smart?

I say he was smart. He found the best way to get rid of her: by asking her name as though he forgot!

The next question: Is that girl so dumb not to realize the above mentioned probability? Perhaps yes...

What is in a Name?

“Here everything goes by number. Your employee number is your identity. It is more important than your name.” When I heard my manager, I felt terrible. “There is no value for my name!” - I was surprised. To me this was nothing but a good example of communist principle working through an organization, which is based out of a communist country. “Human beings are not valued. They are just ids and numbers” - I thought sadly

A few months passed...

I was having a friendly chat with my Chinese colleague. During the conversation he elaborated the "name-space-crisis" of China. Each Chinese name consists of three components. The first component is the family name. The second is a "connector" that has a fixed pattern of rotation-and-reuse across generations. E.g. if one's father used the connector 'li' his son will use a different - but usually a pre-defined connector, say 'hong'. The third component is the person's first name.

So... the name Wang-li-dong can be split into Wang, li, and dong. There will be no extra tail or header to that name.

Now the problem: Since there are so many people in China, so many Chinese have the same name. E.g. one can find lot of Zhangwei's in China. When there are so many people with same name, how can an organization or government, address or reach-out-to a specific person? The solution is to give the people numbers, or append an alphabet to their names. My company follows the number convention. Some other companies follow the alphabet convention.

“Hmmm... the number has got nothing to do with communism”. I thought and laughed at myself.

Trying to comprehend...

A wrestler is passing by a street...

A young thug, who is no match to the wrestler, doesn't like his walking style. He hurls verbal abuses at the wrestler. A group of elders, who watch these events unfold, look at each other and continue their boring, mundane and useless conversation. The wrestler too ignores those verbal abuses and walks away. Emboldened by the wrestler's reaction, the young thug repeats the same next day. The wrestler chooses to ignore it again.

The next day the thug - instead of throwing verbal abuses - hurls sharp objects at the wrestler.

How do you think the wrestler should react ?

A) Go, bash the thug

B) Take those hurled objects to those useless elders and crib "The thug threw these at me. I can call my forensic expert to prove it. You must do something!"

Israel opted for option A. Israel is still pounding Gaza for a good reason.

India opted for option B. India is still busy convincing Pakistan and the World, that the Mumbai terror attack was Pakistan's brain child.

Has this type of reaction happened in the past? Yes! To name a few... The Kandahar hijacking, the Mumbai bomb blast, the Parliament attack etc.

"Criticizing the government is easy. That too by sitting in the comforts of a corner offered by Bangalore" - You might think. Nops...! It is not about criticizing! It's about failing to comprehend the government's actions! I can think of many proper quid-pro-quo: i.e. from Naval blockade to severing all ties with Pakistan. Why can't the political leadership think in those lines? Why can't it deliver a fitting reply? Are the Delhi politicians scared that an atom bomb of Pakistan will first fall on Delhi – i.e. on their head? I feel terrible when the Paki "artists" and "entertainers" still keep visiting India with impunity to make money! What is this government doing?

In short... I feel ashamed of India's offensive against the 26/11 perpetrators.