Yo Momma...

It was just a couple of days since I had joined my engineering college. Ragging was still in vogue.

"What is your name..." The senior asked me in a harsh and threatening manner.

I gave my full name.

He singled out my last name and asked: "Who is he?"

"My father"

"How do you know?!"

I didn't understand his question. Puzzled at his question, I looked at him....

"You mother fucker..., why are you staring at me?! I asked you HOW YOU KNOW HE IS YOUR FATHER!??"

"My mother told me... " I blurted. A stupid answer. But I was in no position to 'think' and give a proper answer. Never in my life I had come across the word - 'mother fucker'. I was reeling under shock and didn't know what to say...

"Will you call anyone your father... whom your mother shows...? *%$#@" The verbal abuse continued for another half an hour

That was how I got introduced to "Yo Momma" abuses and jokes...

Enter 21st century: There are full fledged programs and competitions, such as M-TV's Yo Momma, aired regularly with the sole intention to educate our young generation on how to abuse someone's mother. I think the mission of those channels is so noble! They don't want our kids to get shocked when someone hurls verbal abuses at them and their parents.

God save the young kids from such filthy 'ingenious' programs. And God save the governments, which think such programs need no censorship.

Other interesting cricket videos

Recently, Shane Warne listed Curtly Ambrose as his 3rd greatest cricketer. He mentions about the game in Perth (1992-93), where Ambrose turned the game and series against Australia through his devastating spell of 7 wickets for 1 run. Given below is the video that has captured Ambrose's performance. Click here to see Shane Warne's greatest 50 cricketers.

Given below is another intersting video titled the "The Top Ten Weird Dismissals Of Cricket!!"

Bernard Weber - The smart ass

I admire Bernard Weber. For he is perhaps the only person in history who has fooled millions across countries at the same time, and has made good money out of it. Smart and courageous entrepreneur. He even succeeded in fooling many country heads to go live on TV and urge their citizens to vote on Weber's website! His new7wonders.com played into the emotions of people and helped him fetch millions of dollars. Not many folks who visited his website and SMSed their choice knew that they are contibuting more to the coffers of this millionare. At that point of time all that mattered to them was emotion. Rationality took the back seat. I'm surprised why the fourth estate waited long to expose Weber!!

Btw, do you know his website's operation costs were minimum and efficient. Most of the softwares used by the website came from GNU/GPL open source. Here's a testimoney to that. I got this from new7wonders.com: "TYPO3 is a free open source Content Management Framework created by Kasper Skaarhoj and licensed under GNU/GPL."

Anyways, now that Berner chose the new seven wonders and made money, I'm eagerly awaiting his next new move. Am also thinking of starting a website called new7bangalore-wonders.com ;-)

Wedding Etiquette

A humble request in the interest of the family-that-invites-you for a wedding function: Please DO NOT visit them on ANY DAY prior to the wedding day, until-and-unless you are asked to. Some people have this habit to visit the host's home to convey their wishes OR to let the host know their unavailability to attend the wedding function. If you can’t resist the itch to visit, please pick up the phone and give them a ring! Period! Don’t visit them! Don't disturb them when they are busy trying to organize stuffs for the marriage! Don't steal their time and make them squeeze for time! Please be kind on the folks who invite you!

Alappat Jewellers

If you plan to buy golden ornaments, please don't trust Alappat Jewelers. They cheat! The ornaments we purchased from Alappat, Calicut were later found to be of 20-carrot as against their claim of 22-carrot. Take this as a testimony against the trickster’s service.

A "Traffic Signal" Puzzle

Decipher the traffic signal given below.

Does it mean?
a. Stop and Go.
b. After taking a left turn, stop!
c. The traffic signal has a bug. It is not working!
d. None of the above.

Think... Think...

The answer is d. What it is trying to convey is: you can go straight or take a left; but you can't take a right. For those who stay in India, this won't be a puzzle at all. They are used to such kind of cryptic signals everyday.

Funny NITC Notice

Given below is the notice that was published in NITC notice boards on Feb-8-2007. It is kinda funny because college is considered to be the cradle of free-thought and through this notice/order the Director of NITC is attmpting to curtail the freedom of thought and speech - a fundamental right of an Indian - guaranteed by the Indian Constitution. Click here to get a background of the court order mentioned in the notice below

NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, CALICUT

DO/14/07 February 8, 2007


Sub : Prevention of undesirable activities among the student community - reg


As you are aware, this Institute has an excellent record of academic performance and the Government of India is now in the process of uplifting it to new horizons. In the process of its growth, considering its importance as an Institute of National Importance, the Government of India look on us for input to all their policy matters.

With deep regret, it is noticed that a fraction of our student community indulges in activities which the Law had instructed to be curbed or tabooed for the salvation of educational system through rulings of the Hon'ble Court of Law on student politics in College campuses. Therefore, the Director appeals to the entire student community to keep themselves away from such activities that will tarnish the image of the Institute.

At the same time, it is brought to the notice of the students that acting against the rules of the Institute and Law of the land, that putting flags, posters, banners other than official ones and organizing or attending meetings other than official ones will automatically attract stringent disciplinary action to maintain peace in the campus. Needless to mention that consumption of alcoholic drinks and smoking inside the campus against the code of conduct of the Institute will invite remedial punitive measures. All these undesirable activities will contribute to spoiling of their personal records in the Institute. The student records will be made available to all the prospective employers during placement and later, if necessary. Hence all students are directed to abstain from any illegal activities and be productive and proactive in their academic front.

The Director appeals to the student community to realize the amount of confidence reposed in them, by their parents and the Governmental patronage through poor tax payer's money, and work for the noble objectives expected of each one of us.


Director, NITC


To
All student Notice Boards including Hostel Notice Boards,
All Deans,
All HODs for reading in classes
All faculty members

Copy to: All Parents

Ads and valentine's day

There is this ad taking rounds in Bangalore FM channels... : "So... what did your sweetheart gift you on this valentine’s day? - A diamond necklace? A diamond ring? A candle light dinner at a five star hotel?"

Thanks to the crazy ads that come through all sorts of media, gone are the days when a rose would convey all that really matters - LOVE!. Some ads give the impression that nothing less than a 40-cent VVS1 singleton diamond pendant will do. For the selling companies Feb is the season to increase their sales. And these ads help them a lot for sure. For the consumer, it leaves a bad taste. The word "Feb-14" raises the alarm; the prices of the gifts drops one's heart to his/her belly. A fortune need to be spent to keep your sweet-heart happy. He/She thinks that the norm is to splash money to convey how much their better half matters to him/her! The world... i mean the ads... say so...!

Thanks Mr. Valentine. You have given the business houses a good opportunity to stuff their purse.

Before you sign off, take a look at this valentine video. You might like it...

Glad to leave the organization

I got this mail from a friend of mine who recently left my organization (let us give the organization a fictious name - MBI)

I'm doing good... the new company is having a very positive effect on me already, do not miss MBI at all now. I guess that's a good thing.

Sometime back another firend who left MBI told me that the organization's India wing has stooped to a level that he found no other choice but quit it...

MBI, are you hearing? Guess not :-)

BSNL Broadband service

BSNL Broadband service in Bangalore has the worst customer service I have ever come across. Their DNS keeps going down almost every alternate day and it takes them more than six hours to get it fixed. The worst thing is, you can't reach their customer helpline. Dial 1-800-424-1600 and keep listening to this message for eternity: "Your Call is important to us. You will be attended shortly".