Generation Gap

Three or Four years back I was taking a stroll on CMH road. That is when I came across this attractive damsel walking towards me. I don't remember her face. But I do remember something else! She had this very-low-neck pink top that revealed a looong cleavage! When she walked all her assets swayed to the rhythm of her cat walk. My jaws almost dropped...! And I sang to myself - "What a wonderful world….!" As I passed her, I turned back to enjoy her cat walk. That is when my eyes bulged out, and jaws hit the pavement. She had exposed her "rear" and rare cleavage too!! Thanks to her blue ultra-low-waste jeans! My lips almost produced a whistle before my brain intervened.

Months passed... Bangalore adopted the fashion I saw on CMH road. Thanks to low-waste jeans and translucent blouses, figuring out the color and type of a lady’s under-cloths became a cake-walk. The "good ol'coin trick" was no longer required to take a peek at the cleavages (front and rear) some ladies proudly displayed.

Did I enjoy this fashion change? I guess I did. I considered myself lucky to live in this era where nobody has to pay a penny to watch old B-grade movie-bits/scenes. All he has to do is: go to a posh mall... and enjoy the latest “fashion sense”!

But something happened today that made me think seriously...

Today, while coming out from a restaurant, I saw this girl with ultra-micro mini-skirt. Had she bent even a tiny-teeny angle, I would have clearly seen her undies. Unlike three years back, this time I didn't sing "What a wonderful world". I didn't enjoy what I saw! May be I'm finding it difficult to appreciate the latest fashion sense of the youngest and latest generation! Am I getting old? Am I having a generation gap?

Everything happens for the good

On that unfateful day he met me. I had no malice... I swear! He was getting engaged the next week and I thought we'll just exchange pleasantries. That I'll wish him in advance a happy married life filled with love. And he will thank me. And we will dine together and then we will say bye.

But the talk took a different turn.

I could see that something was bothering him. I probed: "You appear to be tensed?"
"Not really. But yes... next week is my engagement and all this happened so fast…"
I empathized "Yeah... I understand. If I were in your shoes I would feel the same"
Lost in some thoughts, he nodded. His engagement was an "arranged" one.
I continued. "Marriage is perhaps one of the most important decisions in a person's life. Marrying a person whom one doesn't know much is like hoping to win a lottery. I think that decision should be made after knowing the other person well"
"Yes... but there is no way how you will know ANY person WELL"
"Precisely" I said "Especially in an arranged marriage. You will come to know only the polished side of the other person. That is not the REAL character of that person, isn't it?"

From there the conversation took off to a detailed analysis on why marriage is a real risk!!

At times I would console him stating that his philosophy - "everything happens for good" - is the best. I kept reassuring him that he is on the right track. He appeared to be cool till I brought up the misuse of the dreaded Section 498A of Indian Penal Code. I explained to him, with real life examples, on how 498A was being misused. As soon as I did that I wished I shouldn't have done that. He was now really really tensed. I figured it out from his tone: "Hey… Don’t scare me too much!"

So I decided to switch sides and argue in favor of marriages. It was approaching 11:00 PM - the time when his to-be-fiancé would call him. When we said adios I hoped and still believe that I cooled him.

*************

His engagement got over last week

*************

A few years from now:

I ring the door bell. He welcomes me to his home and introduces me to his wife: "This is the moron who scared the shit out of me just a week before our engagement". He beams and looks at my reaction.

I spread my entire array of teeth and says hello to his wife.

*************

Well... Everything happens for the good :-D

Our Soul

Say "OUR SOUL" repeatedly...

Say it faster...

And listen to yourself...

Did you hear yourself saying arsehole??!!

OK... Now do it the reverse.

Say "arsehole" repeatedly... do it faster... and then listen! Did you find "OUR SOUL" in arsehole?

Next time you blurt arsehole (or asshole), and an undesired audience heard you say that, tell them that you said "OUR SOUL".

Jai Gandhigiri ;-)

Masala Movies

I like masala movies! In those two or three hours I get the chance to transmogrify to that guy in the screen who can sing, dance, kick-butts... All that at the drop of a hat! In real life doing all that is difficult. I truly know I possess the talent. But I can't do it at finger snap. Special venues and preparation are required. I remember quite well my friends praising my dancing skills at a party! Now... don't think that they praised me under the influence of alcohol. You can't say that until you see me dance. If there is going to be another party in the next two or three months, I'll invite you to watch me dance.

Anyways... the point is not how well I dance or sing or fight. The point is transmogrification... in those two-three hours and then... visiting the most beautiful and exotic places in the world with your crush; driving expensive cars, bikes and even planes; dancing with damsels that come from different continents; firing different types of guns at anyone with the license to kill... Phew... isn't that KHOOL...??!!

And then you have this misunderstanding cropping in between the hero and heroin, creating a rift between them. The problem could have been solved had they talked to each other. But they won't!! As the drama unfolds, impatiently I wait for myself to get into the screen as "me" (not the hero); all to have a chat with both the folks and clear the misunderstanding. Alas that doesn't happen. The drama would unwind ONLY to the scriptwriter’s tone.

Real life provides us the opportunity to be our own life's scriptwriter - the opportunity to talk to folks and clear the air of misunderstanding. How many time do we grab that opportunity? Not many times I guess. And often… because of that… the drama in our life takes a sour turn. So… what to do then? Purchase a masala movie ticket and transmogrify?! ;-)

My Road

It had rained that night. The side pavement was spotless. The road was washed clean by the rain water. The long black dirt-less road looked beautiful with patches of violet flowers strewn by the roadside tress. "What a beautiful morning": I murmured. I kinda flirted with the silly thought that the road and trees laid those violet carpets to welcome me! With gloat I jogged slowly savoring the beauty and the solitude.

The solitude was soon broken by a cycler-rider. He too was enjoying the nature. I could say that from the way he held his head back. He was at the other end of the road. But I could sense him humming some tune. He was pedaling leisurely with no hands on the handle-bar.

A smirk spread on my face.

When he was a few yards away from me, I jumped from the pavement to the road to pick a violet flower. He lost his balance momentarily..., caught hold of the handle-bar, and regained control. I looked at him with a sorry innocent face and said: "Sorry". Did I hear him say fuck. I think I did ;-)

As he passed behind me, I looked at the solitude road in front of me... and grinned... “She is mine again” :-)

Forecast of the week

Everything appeared boring - the book I was reading, the animated discussions of the co-passengers, the artificial smile of the beautiful air-hostess... everything! I folded my book, eased my seat belt a bit, and pulled out the magazine - The Week - which was lying in the next-to-next seat. I flipped through the pages. Nothing interesting was there either. The political situation, the Agni missile, the market crash, the romance of some bollywood actor... the magazine had nothing interesting to report!

I lifted my head and was greeted with a fabricated smile by the air-hostess. I returned a phony smile and went back to the magazine. I turned the page and there it was - Forecast of the week by KK Vamanan Namputhiri.

Being a Taurian, I went to the section that read "Taurus". It read "This week make sure you do either of the thing: get married or find a new business partner". I froze!! Only a couple more days were left for the week to end. And I have not yet found a girl to marry!! Forget about business partner… that will not happen in a couple of days. With the resolve to find a girl within the next two days I closed the magazine.

I lifted my head… and my eyebrows, and took a deep look at the air-hostess. Did the hunter get his pray? My eyes narrowed, and moved from her face to her body… to her belly… and that is when I noticed it: Her stomach was bulging! Was she pregnant?!! “Wrong choice...!” I said to myself.

Mr. Namputhiri, I’m better off without your advice.

PS: Horoscope believers please excuse this sarcastic post.

Job opening ads

Have you seen some of the job ads? Sometimes the requirement, in terms of years-of-experience, in a nascent technology exceeds the age of that technology itself! Long time back seeing those requirements I used to get baffled. Slowly, as time progressed, my eyes (and brain) got trained to such ads. I classified them as "advertising gimmicks" of the recruiting companies.

But it took a dilbert cartoon strip to let me realize the real and true motive behind such ads :-) Click here to see the 29-Feb-08 strip…

In the strip, Catbert (the evil HR director) posts a job opening. The requirement states: Candidate must have an I.Q. of 300, Two Centuries of Unix Experience and a track record of winning Nobel prizes.

After posting the ad, Catbert thinks with a smug: 90% of my job is convincing people they don't deserve theirs.

PS: HR professionals, please excuse this post.

It's not about the Bike

Read Lance Armstrong's "It's not about the Bike". His other book - "Every Second Counts" - appealed to me more

Linda Armstrong's - Lance's mother’s - character wowed me. To me, her character is much much stronger than Lance's.To bring up a child ALL ALONE in her teenage; manage her studies; and grow up the corporate ladder, without anything to prove to anyone but herself, requires tremendous amount of courage. Do you know what the litmus test of courage is? Carrying-on all-alone with determination, when the chips are down and when nobody cares about you. Lance didn’t pass that test. Linda did! In the hospital bed, before his surgery, to hide his courage Lance declares to his friends that he will fight and defeat the cancer. But he later admits that the declaration was to camouflage his fear. He had friends, his mother and his "declaration" to support his courage. Linda had none of those. (This doesn't mean that I don't admire Lance's courage)

One particular section of the book reminded me about the importance of presenting things in the right way:

Lance Armstrong had approached two hospitals to cure his cancer. Given below are the responses of the two doctors of the respective hospitals. You will see that the content of their message is the same. The way they put across the message is what differs.

The doctor in Houston: “I'm glad you are here. You will crawl out of here. I'm going to kill you. Everyday I'm going to kill you, and then I'm going to bring you back to life. We're going to hit you with chemo, and then hit you again, and hit you again. You're not going to be able to walk. We're practically going to have to teach you how to walk again, after we're done."

The doctor in Indiana: "You are in an advanced stage. The percentages are unfavorable. But this is potentially curable. Even-though you're in the poor-prognosis category, we've cured a lot worse. And we don't want the chemo to affect your lungs. This is to give you a chance later to recover physically and compete in cycling."

I think anyone can guess which hospital Lance chose for his treatment. Putting things across in a nice and polite way, and mixing it with hope, makes a huge difference.

Some other interesting quotes of the book are given below:

Lance Armstrong: Your past forms you, whether you like it or not. Each encounter and experience has its own effect, and you're shaped the way the wind shapes a mesquite tree on a plain.

Linda Armstrong: If you are going to get anywhere, you're going to have to do it yourself, because no one is going to do it for you. If you can’t give 110 percent, you won't make it.

Tell Me Why

While hopping from channel to channel I came across this performance by Declan Galbraith. It is called "Tell Me Why". I loved the 10 year old's performance. He has got good control over his voice...! I managed to catch two philosophical lines in the lyrics ;-)

Everyday I ask myself what will I have to do to be a man?
Do I have to stand and fight to prove to everybody who I am?

For other trivias of this music that set a world record, click on the link above. And if you know where to download the free mp3 of it, please drop in a word ;-)

Marxist Rumors

A conversation among a visitor, my father and me...

“I heard your entire family's name was cut from the voters’ list. Did you get it reinstated?” I asked the visitor
“Yes... These dirty tricks of Marxist party!” He exasperated “Many sisters' and priests' name were cut form the list. In the next election, the Marxists want to come back to power by hook or crook. They want to manipulate the voters’ list. They want to do West Bengal in Kerala.”
“But... won't that create a permanent hatred among the people towards the party?! Anyone whose name was cut will most likely never vote for the party!!” I was bemused
“Even otherwise they will never! The communists are shrewd. They are cutting the names of those whom they are sure will never vote for them.”

He had a point. I nodded.

The visitor continued. “In West Bengal the situation is so bad. To construct a house one has to donate an amount to the local party office. Can you believe it?! The party has tried something similar in Kerala. Have you noticed that the number of "bucket-donations" the party used to conduct has come down drastically. How do you think they are compensating for the financial loss they incur?”
“How?” I asked.
“Recently, in Kottayam, they approached a govt.-medical-college doctor and asked to donate 5 lakh rupees to the party fund. The doctor refused and said he can contribute only 3 lakh rupees!! 3 lakh!! Not a small amount!! But the comrades were not convinced. In fact they were furious. They refused to accept 3 lakh. Before leaving they threatened him that they knew how to get 10 lakh from him. The next day the doctor got a transfer order. He had to now settle the row with 10 lakh rupees. Btw, do you know what happened in Baby Memorial Hospital?”
“No”
“Well... the Marxists asked for 1 crore donation. The hospital owner refused. The hospital soon received a show-case notice from the environment department asking them why the department should not take action against the hospital for polluting the nearby canal.”

We were silent for a few seconds before my father spoke. “Whatever be the party, politicians are birds of the same feather. All hungry for money and power. They will do anything for it. One of the worst things the Marxists did was extremely politicize Calicut University. The University now reeks with their filth.”
My father - an ex-professor in Calicut University - shared an incident. “There was this institute with excellent facilities that wanted the recognition from Calicut University. I was the invigilator. I liked their dedication and facilities. I approved. The next step was to get an approval from the Registrar. The institute approached the Registrar. His response was to contact Matahi Chacko - the local Marxist veteran. At that time Matahi Chacko was a Senate member. The institute's officials weren't sure what to do. So they contacted me and requested to help them understand the procedure. I knew the official procedure, which was quite simple. All the Registrar had to do was sign the document. Since I had approved, he had to have a strong reason NOT to sign. And I was sure that there was no reason NOT to sign. Since the institute appeared to have that dedication, which is rare to find these days, I told them I'll check with the Registrar what went wrong. On contacting the Registrar, he asked me to contact Mathai Chacko!! I didn't understand why Matahi Chacko has to have a say here. I communicated the Registrar’s message to the institute. Around the same time the institute came to know that another institute was recognized by the University. The other institute had no basic facilities. Bemused they approached me again. Looking at their plight I thought I'll try to help them. I called Mathai Chacko. He lifted the phone and started speaking in an extremely rude and impolite manner. A typical rowdy language which I’m not used to. I was irritated. I snapped the call without speaking anything further. I conveyed the same to the institute. I don't know whether they got recognized later. But that incident was another reality check. I knew once again that the Marxists are not angels.”
The visitor chipped in. “They are devils. Pinarayi has lot of benami property throughout Kerala. Deepika daily is his benami. The whole world knows it…!”

The phone rang and our discussion thread broke…

***************

This post might be a surprise to my friends who have known me as a leftist. I’m no leftist or rightist. Just a humanist. It is better to let the world know about the rumors that are floating around. Support the good in anything. And vehemently oppose the evil.

Lady In The Brown Sari

Bangalore Airport...

Arrival Section...

I have been waiting for the past 15 minutes for my friend to come out through the Arrival Gate. Waiting is something I detest most. That too for 15 minutes!! I started becoming fidgety.

With no one to talk I looked around. That is when I noticed this girl. Clad in a brown sari, she had her hands clasped against the steel rails. Her eyes was constantly searching for someone's glimpse at the arrival gate. Her eyes spoke volumes. She was expecting someone. Now and then her lips will break into a smile at the sight of someone's shadow in the gate, only to repose when the person steps out from the shadow. “No… it is not him!” Her eyes spoke. In a few seconds hope will again spread in her eyes. She will lean against the steel rail, squeeze them and then gently smile at the shadows with her eyes.

She was 'longing' personified. I wanted to capture that image. It was such a beauty observing her. She stood there with hope dancing throughout her body. But something was restraining her from expressing it to the fullest. Another 15 minutes might have passed. That is when the smile in her eyes became broader... and moved to her lips... to stay there without diminishing. Her eyes stopped wandering. It was now steady, focusing at the arrival gate. I looked at the subject that had captured the fascination of the lady-in-the-brown-sari. With a tired face he walked out slowly. His smile had the touch of relief.

He walked to her, and hugged the old man standing next to her. “His father...” I whispered. Now I knew what was restraining her. While walking to the taxi that was parked for him, he managed to escape the old man's chat-and-eyes. For a moment he held her hand and squeezed it. Both looked at each other and laughed silently...

"Hey...! Stop ogling!"
I turned to see my friend staring down at me with a wide grin.
Ogling!!!! No point explaining to him. He won’t understand.
“How was your journey?” I asked him with a smile.

My niece

I'm crazy about my niece. Here's one incident about her.

She loves observing people. So, under her keen observing eyes, which is difficult to escape from, I get into this store-room where my mom keeps her home-made wine. (I like the wine my mom prepares) I take the wine jar out and starts pouring the liquid into the glass.

My niece comes to me and asks: "What are you doing mamman? What are you pouring?"

Of course I can't give wine to my niece. And if I tell her that it is "wine" - something she has never tasted - she will create a scene forcing us to let her taste the drink.

So I tell her that it is black tea. She doesn't like black tea. The color of the wine supported my lie.

She observes me for a while, then runs to the kitchen and comes back with a tea filter to help me "filter" the "tea". With a chuckle I try to convince her that "this tea" doesn't require a filter.

She listens, thinks for a while, and runs to the kitchen again; only to bring another glass. I thought she is going to ask me her share of the "tea". She holds the glass to me and says "The tea will be hot mamman. Use this glass to bring down its heat"

My chuckle soon became a roaring laughter

******

Last week she left for Canada. I miss her...

Shantaram

I read Gregory David Roberts’ 900+ page Shantaram. I completed it much faster than I had anticipated. I liked the way Roberts wove the story. Two main threads of his fabric is philosophy and love. I am not impressed with the philosophy part. I have read better books that put across philosophy in a better way. But the love part intrigued me. It remains as a puzzle, especially Lin's love for Khaderbai. Khader had used Lin for his selfish motive. Lin knew it. But still he loved Khader as a father. But why? Does it happen to all people? Perhaps love is all about giving without expecting anything back. Worse... it could be giving even when one knows that he will get bad things in return. I guess it is that kind of love that makes a person forgive from the bottom of his heart. I guess it is this pure love that drags your loved ones even more closer to you. Equally interesting is the love between Lin and Karla. Their love went numb because mistrust and misunderstanding never let it blossom to the fullest. Without trust love can't grow.

Given below are a few interesting quotes from the book

Never let anyone know what you are thinking.

Karla: The truth is a bully we all pretend to like

Scorpion & Frog Story: The frog agrees to carry the scorpion across the river, because the scorpion promises not to sting him. But half-way across the river the scorpion stings the frog. The drowning frog asks him why he did it, when he knew that they'll both drown. The scorpion says that he's a scorpion, and its his nature to sting

Karla: Most loves are like your heart feeling like a over-crowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out - your friends, everyone you used to know. And its' still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it's going to take you down with it.

Didier: The worst thing about the corruption as a system of governance is that it works so well

Qasim Ali Khan: Justice is not only the way we punish those who do wrong. It is also the way we try to save them

Lin: A girlfriend of mine once told me, a long time ago, that she was attracted to me because I was interested in everything, and committed to nothing.

Lin: Real suffering is measured by what is taken away from us.

Karla: The surest way to hurt someone you like, is to put all your trust in him

Dider: News tells you what people did. Gossip tells you how much they enjoyed it.

Karla: Men reveal what they think when they look away, and what they feel when they hesitate. With women it's the other way around.

The Enfield of India 350cc Bullet was a single-cylinder, four stroke motorcycle, constructed to the plan of the original 1950's model of the British Royal Enfield. Renowned for its idiosyncratic handling as much as for its reliability and durability, the Bullet was a bike that demanded a relationship involved tolerance, patience, and understanding on the part of the rider. Un exchange, the Bullet provided the kind of soaring, celestial, wind-weaving pleasure that birds must know, punctuated by not infrequent near-death experiences.

Lin: There is a difference between a choice and an ultimatum: A choice means that you know what’s going on, and why before you decide. You can't order me to do something, without an explanation. I'm not that kind of man.

Vikram: A man is truly a man when he wind the love of a good woman, earns her respect, and keeps her trust.

Winston Churchill: A fanatic is someone who won't change his mind and can't change the subject

Lin: Honor and virtue are not same. Virtue is concerned with what we do, and honor is concerned with how we do it. Criminals, killer and mafiosis can be honorable men.

Blessed (Cursed) ATM?

An ATM near Forum Mall, Koramangala, Bangalore....

The user - ME

I swiped my card, entered the PIN, and then the amount - Rs 5000
Some machine movement happened before the ATM started humming that sweet little music of Rupee-Notes getting machine-counted.
After a while it presented me the money. I took it and counted...

Did I count an extra 100?! Not sure... I count again. YES! There is one 100 Rs note extra. The ATM indeed gave me an extra 100 Rs! Wait a minute... What did the receipt say? I carefully check the receipt the machine had produced. It said Rs 5000. But I got Rs 5100!

With grin all over my face, I said "God bless this ATM!"

PS: If I got lucky, someone else might have got unlucky. So folks, count the money before you leave the ATM. Machines are not perfect!

A different perspective

While reading Shantaram I came across this ordinary, but interesting paragraph. It talks about a 19 year old slum dweller who resorts to theft.

The 19 year old states: I know someday I might get caught, but I hope not. I hope the Enlightened One is on my side. It's for my sister. I pray that no harm will come to me, you see, because I'm not stealing for myself, but for my sister. She will be married soon, and there is not enough to pay the promised dowry. It is my responsibility. I'm the oldest son.

So... Why am I sharing this?

A few days back, past midnight, I was awaken to a huge pandemonium in my neighborhood. The dogs were barking and people were shouting. When I opened my window, I saw a group of men pounding two teenagers and yelling "chori kartha hai!!??"... meaning "You dare stealing!!??". The teenagers were all in tears, hand-folded, squealing and involuntarily chattering "sorry sorry..." The drama continued for almost half an hour. While the drama was unfolding I was least sympathetic to those teenagers. In fact, I was glad that someone was thrashing them on my behalf. Call it mob psychology or whatever...

The next day, I forgot that incident and got busy with my daily chores.

A paragraph like the one from Shantaram can remind you about your limitation to put things in the right perspective before acting...

Investment nuggets

Came across some John Templeton quotes. Golden nuggets from the investment guru...

The time of maximum pessimism is the best time to buy and the time of maximum optimism is the best time to sell.

I never made money for clients by buying anything expensive.

The only investor who should not diversify is the one who is right 100 per cent of the time.

For those properly prepared in advance, a bear market in stocks is not a calamity but an opportunity.

If you buy the same securities as other people, you will have the same results as other people... To buy when others are despondently selling and to sell when others are greedily buying requires the greatest fortitude and pays the greatest reward.

Bear markets have always been temporary. And so have bull markets...

...Too many investors can spoil any share selection method or any market timing formula.

History shows that time, not timing, is the key to investment success. Therefore, the best time to buy stocks is when you have money.

Article @ click here

Interpret this...

There is this book in my hand... I'm trying to read it. But the contents are not clear at all. Everything in the book appears to be blurred out. I don’t know why. All I know is that I'm trying hard to solve a problem. And I know that the book holds the key to the problem and solution.

Suddenly some of the contents become clearer. It says "PSALMS 14"!! And I'm somewhere in the second paragraph of PSALMS 14!!

That is when I woke up from my dream!

I’m obviously puzzled by the dream. Bible is not my cup of tea. I have read only a few chapters of it. I have never gone close to PSALMS. I'm no great believer either. The pendulum of my belief often swings between theism and atheism; often passing through agnosticism. So why this dream??!!

I opened PSALM 14 and read the first two paragraphs. It said: Fools say to themselves, "There is no God!" They are all corrupt and they have done terrible things; there is no one who does what is right. The LORD looks down from heaven at us humans to see if there are any who are wise, any who worship him.

Now... the interpretation of the dream:

1. Theist: The dream is a divine intervention.
2. Atheist: Something has been troubling you off-late. The subconscious mind, which was brought up in the Christian faith, is responding to it by echoing your old beliefs.
3. Agnostic: I’m contemplating on the above two arguments.

Miracle!

I was chatting with my friend, who 'claimed' to have a recent breakup with his girlfriend

"Are you through with her?" I asked
"I guess so..."
"Do you miss her?"
He lifted his head, gave it a slight nod and said: "She is a poor sweet person". His tone said that he did miss her... perhaps badly
After a brief silence I asked: "So what's your decision? Are you gonna continue with her?"
He sighed and said: "I don't know. If some miracle happens, then yes... !"
I smiled and said: "You seem to hoping for a miracle. May be you should act. That will bring miracle to your doorsteps."

We all wait for miracles to happen. At times it is our own actions that create miracles in our own life.

Feel it...!

This post is not for the hyper-sensitive heart...

How would you feel seeing your friend getting slaughtered; you are caged (or tied), and you know that you are the next to go down?

Here's something that happened in my neighborhood.

Five Point Someone

Read Five Point Someone of Chetan Bhagat. A light one that spreads that smile on your face. Loads of reviews are available on the I-net. I don't want to add to add to that weight :-) And sorry... am publishing no Chetan quotes either ;-)

The Road Less Travelled

Completed Scott M Peck's "The Road Less Traveled". An interesting read. It took me quite sometime to complete the book. I had to skim and skip some of the last chapters, which deals with grace and laziness. Yeah... In Scott's words, perhaps I was a bit lazy and rejected "grace" by doing so ;-)

Given below are some of the quotes and excerpts that I liked.

Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life’s problems. Without discipline we can solve nothing. With only some discipline we can solve only some problems. With total discipline we can solve all problems.

If we feel ourselves valuable, then we will feel our time to be valuable, and if we feel our time to be valuable, then we will want to use it well. Those who procrastinate do not value their time.

A General: The single greatest problem in this army, or I guess in any organization, is that most of the executives will sit looking at problems in their units, staring them right in the face, doing nothing, as if these problems will go away if they sit there long enough.

Eldridge Cleaver: If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.

Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs

To our children we say, “Don’t talk back to me, I’m your parent.” To our spouse we give the message, “Let’s live and let live. If you criticize me, I’ll be a bitch to live with, and you’ll regret it.” To their families and the world the elderly give the message, “I’m old and fragile. If you challenge me I may die or at least you will bear upon your head the responsibility for making my last days on earth miserable.” To our employees we communicate, “If you are bold enough to challenge me at all, you had best do so very circumspectly indeed or else you’ll find yourself looking for another job.”

A life of total honestly also means a continuous and never-ending process of self-monitoring to assure that our communications – not only the words that we say but also the way we say them – invariably reflect as accurately as humanly possible the truth or reality as we know it.

Lying can be divided into two types: white lies and black lies. A black lie is a statement we make that we know is false. A white lie is a statement we make that is not in itself false but that leaves out a significant part of truth.

The feeling of ecstatic lovingness that characterizes the experience of “falling in love” always passes. The honeymoon always ends. The bloom of romance always fades. When it fades, the couple, in the privacy of their hearts, begin to come to the sickening realization that the beloved has and will continue to have his or her own desires, tastes, prejudices and timing different from the other’s. One by one, gradually or suddenly, the ego boundaries snap back into place; gradually or suddenly they fall out of love. Once again they are two separate individuals. At this point they begin either to dissolve the ties of their relationship or to initiate the work of “real” loving.

I define love thus: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth.

When someone says that he/she can’t live without his/her love, it is a description of parasitism, not love. When you require another individual for your survival, you are a parasite on that individual. There is no choice, no freedom involved in your relationship. It is a matter of necessity rather than love. Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other.

If being loved is your goal, you will fail to achieve it. The only way to be assured of being loved is to be a person worthy of love, and you cannot be a person worthy of love when your primary goal in life is to be passively be loved.

In a constructive marriage the partners must regularly, routinely and predictably, attend to each other and their relationship no matter how they feel. Couples sooner or later always fall out of love, and it is at the moment when the mating instinct has run its course that the opportunity for genuine love begins. It is when the spouses no longer feel like being in each other’s company always, when they would rather be elsewhere some of the time, that their love begin to be tested and will be found to be present or absent. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to love, the will to love, still stands and is still exercised.

When we love another we give him or her our attention; we attend to that person’s growth. When we love ourselves we attend to our own growth. When we attend to someone we are caring for that person. The act of attending requires that we make the effort to set aside our existing preoccupations and actively shift our consciousness.

Love is work, nonlove is laziness, and anti-love, which is evil personified, is the extreme form of laziness.

Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the making of action in spite of fear.

With cathexis there is always the risk of loss or rejection. Love anything that lives and it will die. Trust anybody and you many be hurt; depend on anyone and that one may let you down. The price of cathexis is pain. If someone is determined not to risk pain, then such a person must do without many things: having children, getting married, the ecstasy of sex, the hope of ambition, friendship – all that makes life alive, meaningful and significant.

The essence of life is change, a panoply of growth and decay. Elect life and growth, and you elect change and the prospect of death.

As long as one marries, enters a career or has children to satisfy one’s parents or the expectations of anyone else, including society as a whole, the commitment by its very nature will be a shallow one.

Parents who are unwilling to risk the suffering if changing and growing and learning from their children are choosing a path of senility – whether they know it or not – and their children and the world will eave them far behind. Learning from their children is the best opportunity most people have to assure themselves of a meaningful old age. Sadly most do not take this opportunity.

Loving spouses must repeatedly confront and criticize each other if the marriage relationship is to serve the function of promoting the spiritual growth of the partners. No marriage can be judged truly successful unless husband and wife are each other's best critics. The same holds true for friendship. There is a traditional concept that friendship should be a conflict-free relationship, a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" arrangement, relying solely on a mutual exchange of favors and compliments as prescribed by good manners. Such relationships are superficial and intimacy-avoiding and do not deserve the name of friendship which is so commonly applied to them. Mutual loving confrontation is a significant part of all successful and meaningful human relationship. Without it the relationship is either unsuccessful or shallow.

When we confront or criticize someone it is because we want to change the course of the person's life. There are many ways to influence the course of events than by confrontation or criticism. by example, suggestion, parable, reward and punishment, questioning, prohibiting or permission, creation of experiences, organizing with others, and so on.

One’s feelings are the source of one’s energy; they provide the horsepower, or slave power, that makes it possible for us to accomplish the task of living. Feelings are one’s slaves and the art of self-discipline is like the are art of slave-owning.

The genuine lover always perceives the beloved as someone who has a totally separate identity. Moreover, the genuine lover always respects and even encourages this separateness and the unique individuality of the beloved.

Kahlil Gibran:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

A common and traditionally feminine martial problem is created by the wife who, once she is married, feels that the goal of her life has been achieved. She cannot understand or empathize with her husband’s need for achievements and experiences beyond the marriage and reacts to them with jealousy and nerve-ending demands that he devote increasingly more energy to the home.

The path to holiness lies through questioning everything.

Education is derived from the Latin educare, literally translated as ‘to bring out of’ or ‘to lead forth’. There fore when we educate people, if we use the word seriously, we do not stuff something new into their minds; rather we lead this something out of them; we bring it forth from the unconsciousness into their awareness. They were the possessors of the knowledge all along. When we are reading a book and come across an idea or theory that appeals to us, that ‘rings a bell’ with us, we ‘recognize’ it to be true. Yet this idea or theory may be one of which we have never before consciously thought. He word says we ‘re-know’ the concept, as if we knew once upon a time, forgot it, but then recognized it as an old friend.

Ultimately there is only one impediment to spiritual growth, and that is laziness.

Original sin exists. It is our laziness. It is very real. It exists in each and everyone of us.

Leftovers

He carefully poured the leftover tea into the steel tumbler he was holding... He picked the next tumbler and repeated the act, till the tumbler he held was full with “leftover” tea.

With satisfaction he lifted the tumbler to his lips and started drinking the tea he just collected. That is when he noticed that I was observing him. His expression changed. He slowly hid himself behind the tree next to him...

I had heard stories of people eating leftovers. This was the first time I was coming across one in real life. I didn't know what to do…

Next time If I see something like that I'm gonna buy them some food. Btw, the man I'm referring to works in Shanti Sagar Restaurant, Koramangala, Bangalore. You can see him cleaning tables, plates and tumblers of the hotel.

Superstition

The Superstition goes that if there are cobwebs in your home, money will dessert you!

“Superstition... ah!” When I heard it first, I laughed at it...

That’s when my friend explained the logic behind the superstition: “What will you deduce about a person whose home is filled with cobwebs? Don’t you think that person is most LIKELY to be lazy and disorganized? What are the chances for such a character to keep accumulating wealth? Slim? The superstition is based on that logic...”

I nodded...

A small fight...

My sister was narrating an incident to me. It was about a friend of hers. Let us call that friend Meenakshi. Meenakshi was having a bad time at home - with her husband, to be specific - and badly wanted to vent her anger and lighten up her mind. My sister was her chosen outlet.

What struck my sister was the hatred with which Meenakshi narrated one particular incident - an incident that involved "ill-behavior" of her husband towards her parents. Meenakshi knew how much pain her parents were taking to see the couple in good shape. But her husband seemed to have lesser appreciation towards what her parents were doing. She felt that he was not respecting her parents. That infuriated her. Her hatred was visible in her words, expression and every cell of her body.

So, why am I posting this? This is for couples, who don't well-treat their spouses’ parents and siblings. Be careful. Right now, your spouse might be vending his/her anger somewhere else. And he/she has every right to do so...

A couple's conversation

Given below is the overheard conversation of a couple.

Girl: Hey... look... discount is going on in Megamart
Guy: No No No No...
Girl: Come on... let us take a look. It is 50% off! We might get something good!
Guy: Nops.. This is just the 2nd week of the month and almost ENTIRE salary of mine is already spent...!

I chuckled. I had heard that spendthrift girls can become a real pain in the ass. This was one first hand incident I was witnessing! Poor fella...