Employee Onboarding

The three letter company in which I work has a similar onboarding process. My dept. is notrorious for it.

Why do people trek?

Why do people trek?

When I reflect on that question, two faces come to my mind. One is that of a guy who was my room-mate. And the other is that of a girl who used to work with me. Both of them are owners of a mind that is extremely practical that sometimes, while talking to them, you would wonder if they are cynics.

The guy abhorred the thought of trek or anything that involved sweating out. He would buy such an idea only if it resulted in some tangible benefits, like attracting femme fatales ;-). The girl thought that all those who were into 'stunts' like trekking, did that because they wanted to attract the opposite sex! That there were better things one could do e.g. getting new stuffs for your home, washing, cleaning etc.

Both of them had asked me this question: "Why do you trek?" Sometimes I feel that that question is as good (or worse) as "Why do you watch movie?" OR "Why do you follow football?"

I trek due to many reasons

1. I love photography and trekking provides me ample opportunities to click nice snaps
2. I like to challenge myself physically and mentally. Have you tried clicking towards the end of an arduous and strenuous trek? You will find it difficult to apply your mind. Your mind will be tired; so will be your body. While trying to hold your camera still, you will find your hands shaking. You will cease to observe good frames that you would have otherwise noticed. On the top of it, if you are trekking in a team, others would want you to speed up and reduce the number of clicks, so that all can reach the destination asap. That demands striking the right balance.
3. I enjoy the planning part of a trek.
4. Trekking gives me an opportunity to meet excellent minds. Their good qualities inspire me.
5. Trekking helps in building confidence
6. Often I find myself exposing the daring side of me. Taking risks... I like that part.
7. I get a chance to be with nature, far away from the 'known' city, exploring the 'unknown'
8. Trekking gives me a sense of freedom
9. It gives me that precious time to think about stuffs that I wouldn’t have if I had closed myself in a city.

I recollect reading somewhere that trekking builds character. I agree with it. Trekking is a process that has many stages. Each stage has something to offer. It is not just about reaching the destination. Preparing for the walk; walking the path, which leads to the destination; making the best use of your meager resources; all are equally enjoyable. I agree with Pirsig (on Mountain treks) when he says “Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you are no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn’t just a means to an end but a unique event in itself. This leaf has jagged edges. This rock looks loose. From this place the snow is less visible, even though closer. These are things you should notice anyway. To live only for some future goal is shallow. It’s the sides of the mountain that sustains life, not the tip. Here’s where things grow. But of course, without the top you can’t have any sides. It’s the top that defines the sides.” That is precisely why I think photography and trekking go hand-in-hand.

I did a google to see what other trekkers think about trekking. Most of them had thoughts that were similar to that of mine. There were a few interesting thoughts that didn't cross my mind. One was that that some people trek to have sex!

This website (click here) says that "Discovery and excitement is arguably the single largest factor why people trek around. This is part of our human instinct and has never been easier to do so than now." Point to be noted.

The most interesting website I came across was this (click here).

Some of the reasons listed by this discussion group are

1. To tackle difficult situations
2. To develop and enhance human relations and other qualities like adjustments, flexibility etc.
3. To make one more tolerant
4. To gather experience that one can never get anywhere else
5. To know how to be self reliant and how to handle difficult situations and of course different and difficult people.
6. To learn how to manage meager resources and how to be ingenious

I think trekking is fun. And I love such fun. That’s the most important reason why I trek.

The hitch of a bike trip and lessons learned

I had planned a bike trip to Masinagudi. The plan was to start at 5:30 AM today. It didn’t work. Reason? A snapped clutch cable at 00:00 hours of 21st Oct 2006. Good that it snapped before I started the trip. It helped realize why bullet bikers insist on carrying spare clutch cables. Seasoned Bullet Electra 5ES bikers recommend carrying the spare items mentioned below

1. Clutch Cable
2. Throttle Cable
3. Fuse
4. Chain Connector
5. Tyre Tubes
   

Stuff these items in the tool box or in your Cramster bike bags.

The bike trip got postponed by a day. I wish to hit no rough patches in the two day lonely trip…

Crimson Tide

I watched the movie Crimson Tide. I liked it…

A couple of dialogue exchanges, which I liked, are given below

Ramsey: “War is a continuation of politics by other means” - Von Clausewitz
Hunter: I think what he was trying to say was that… the purpose of war is to serve a political end, but the true nature of war is to serve itself
Ramsey: I'm very impressed. In other words the sailor who is most likely to win the war is the one most willing to part company with the politicians and ignore everything except the destruction of the enemy. Uh... you'd agree with that?
Hunter: Well, I'd agree that… that's what Clausewitz was trying to say.
Ramsey: But you wouldn’t agree with it?
Hunter: No sir, I do not. I just think that in the nuclear world, the true enemy can't be destroyed.
Ramsey: Attention on deck. Von Clausewitz will now tell us exactly who the real enemy is. Von?
Hunter: In my humble opinion, in the nuclear world, the true enemy is war itself.

Note down the last dialogue of Hunter. Reminds me of Plato - "Only the Dead Have Seen the End of War"

There is another dialogue that Captain Ramsey delivers.

Ramsey: We are here to preserve democracy. Not to practice it.

It just shows the importance of discipline and maintaining the chain of order to win a war.

This one on horses and high school girls is quite cool.

Ramsey: Horses are very fascinating animals. Dumb as fence posts but very intuitive. In that way they are not too different from high school girls. They might not have a brain in their head, but they do know all the boys want to fuck them.

Captain Ramsey’s speech to pep up the crew just before they board USS Alabama is awesome. That’s what I call an inspiring speech

Talking about speeches, my fav one is the one delivered by Mr. President in the movie Independence Day

There are other speeches that I love, like those in the movie Main Azaad Hoon. I guess "famous speeches" is altogether a different topic, which I should cover in a separate blog.

Know the real meaning behind a few common words...

Another interesting fwded mail that hit my inbox...

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

WHATEVER
A woman's way of saying #$%@ YOU!

Scott stole my words!

Scott, you stole my words. I have worked with such boss!

An Ostrich Act

Tiny little acts can make one lose his reputation and the respect others have for him.

I have (had) high regards to the protagonist of this story.

Before this incident took place, my regard to this guy - one of my bosses - was = 8/10. I had fixed an appointment on Friday with him to discuss certain issues. On the day, few minutes before the meeting was supposed to take place, I pinged him to check his availability. No response. I waited for a while. Our IM tool has this feature of checking whether the other person is typing something or not. I observed that he had typed something and then retracted. I guessed he was really busy. So I decided not to bother him. Hoping to catch him later I closed my IM window.

Regard to this guy is still = 8/10.

After a few days I catch him again on IM. This time he responds and asks me: "Why didn't you ping me last Friday?"
I'm taken aback: "I did!"
"Strange I didn't get your message!"

Regard to this guy = minus-minus

Moral of the story: Don't try to do an Ostrich Act. You will lose others’ respect.

Managed to pull one.

This pic I had clicked, managed to secure a prize in a flickr competition. Feels good :-) And I hope to win more... :-)

My last day in 216-Kleopatra

My diary note:

It was a VERY hectic day. The last day of any consignment - shipping metallic-ore to home in batches - is always hectic. Managing them is tough. Good that today is my final day here in 216-Kleopatra. I was asked to get back home to manage some other work item... and I'm overjoyed. I hate traveling out of my home planet. But can’t help it. Sometimes have to do it. Home planet needs my service. Resource hunting in asteroids like 216-Kleopatra is vital to keep things running back home. Unable to sleep due to the excitement of returning back to earth, I stepped out from my bed.

Everyone was still sleeping so I went to the window and gazed at the Earth slowly gracefully rotating underneath….

What I mentioned above is very much possible! The last paragraph was lifted from Anousheh Ansari's blog. She has written it as if it quite normal! As if it has become part of her life - inseparable! Read that last paragraph once again. Savor it! You might be saying that soon... :-)

Dussarah and Gandhi Jayanthi

"Hi, Monday is a Holiday!"
"Yep I know..."
"It is Dussarah, right?"

And my eyes popped out at that question. My expression spoke for me. Failing to understand why I gave that face, my friend continued...

"What happened? It is Dussarah. That is why we have a holiday this Monday!"

Ok... He is not joking. He really doesn't know the significance of the day.

"It is Oct 2nd!!"

It was his turn to give that puzzled expression.

I said: "It is Gandhi Jayanthi!!"
"Oh... ok. Dussarah falls on the same day. In my place, that is more important"

I don't think "Dussarah" earned him his freedom to talk like that. Gandhi did. But who cares about Gandhi. He has become old fashioned and has vanished to oblivion. For most people he is the guy whom you can see on the Indian Rupee Notes.

Ashraf

What is Ashraf? In Arabic it means "more distinguished". You might be having a friend or two with this "more distinguished" name. For the meat eaters in Ejipura, Bangalore, that is the name of a "more distinguished" non-veg dish - beef! Question: In Bangalore, why can't one call beef, BEEF! Why give it a pet name "Ashraf"?

In most parts of India, except Kerala, North-East India and Kashmir, cow slaughter is banned. If you eat beef you are hurting the sentiments of non-beef eaters! Sounds illogical? How can your consumption of beef hurt a non-beef eater? To answer that question, please answer the following questions first.

1. Is it fair to force your non-veg friend to give up non-veg because it hurts you when he eats non-veg?
2. Is it fair to force your pork-eating non-muslim friend to give up pork because it hurts you when he eats pork?
3. Is it fair to force your onion-eating non-jain-veggie friend to give up onion because it hurts you when he eats onion?
4. Is it fair to force your beef-eating friend to give up beef because it hurts you when he eats beef?

If your answers to the above questions are “No”, then you are wrong! Ask the Hindu Talibans of secular democratic India. Their answer to the 1st three questions would be a “No”. And for the last it would be a “Yes”. So it indeed hurts a non-beef eater to learn that beef eaters eat beef! So you better quit eating beef. Still puzzled? It doesn’t fit into your scheme of logic? Well... then my friend, realize that Logic is the systematic way to come to the wrong conclusion with confidence. So give up logic if you want to live, esp. among Talibans.

Btw, the mess that used to serve Ashraf - that "more distinguished" non-veg dish - stopped serving it after some Hindu Taliban broke the “Ashraf” code word :-(.

Secular India kee jai...

An ethical question...

Given below is the conversation between me and my friend.

Scene: Office. It is 5:42 PM and I'm making an attempt to go home.

Me: Chalo… let me pack up. I am leaving for the day
Friend: Now! So early! It is just 5:42!
Me: Yes it IS 5:42! Time to leave! I'm leaving on time. It is not early.
Friend: Did you come at 9:42? Worked for 8 hours?
Me: Wrong question. You should be asking "Did you complete your work?"
Friend: But you are billing for 8 hours, aren't you?
Me: What matters is 8 hours worth of effort. If you can complete the job in four hours… then good!

The above conversation is a light one with each of us pulling other's leg. Both of us work in a company where working late in the night is the de-facto norm that if you work between 9 AM and 6 PM, people will start staring at you as if you have done something terrible.

The question I have is: Is it ethical to leave office early if you have completed your work for the day. You are completely aware that you are billing for more hours than what you have really done. But then, had it been someone else in your place, they would have taken more time to complete the task/work.

A theft and a weep...

Time 2:30 PM. I was slouching on my laptop, perfecting the art of “open-eyed-siesta”, when I heard a girl weeping. The pupil-lid - not eyelid - that covers the pupil slowly opened. [Orthopedists have confirmed the mutation happening among Software Professionals. Most of them have developed a pupil-lid]. In my stupor I turned my head left and right. As usual my neighbors were half asleep pretending to do something. Blaming myself for dreaming in my grogginess, I let myself slip into my open-eyed-siesta again. No sooner did I close my pupil lid than I heard it again. This time the weep was more distinct. I stood up and scanned my surroundings to behold the source of the weep. And voila… a damsel in my office was indeed weeping - something unusual to my office env. [Btw, have you come across such situation? Just curious…]

So the chivalrous myself, got up and went to her to enquire about her problem. She said her cell-phone was stolen. That she had kept it at her desk before going for a cup of tea. When she came back it was not there! She tried dialing her cell number with no success. It was switched off - a clear sign of theft. She was convinced that it was some employee who has lifted it. I tried giving her and her friends some tips (and no hope) on what can be done. As the pitch of her weep started increasing, I fled the scene.

Two questions…
1. Why do girls cry?
2. Why do people steal?

If you were in her shoes, would you cry? I have lost valuable things but I haven’t cried on it. What makes a girl cry at the drop of a hat? I tried taking a dip in the Internet Ocean to search the answer-pebble to that question. I couldn't get one. However, I came across one interesting link. Here it is. Leaf through it. I liked this answer - "I know a man who said he has never cry(cried) and that men aren't suppose to cry and I cried when he revealed this to me, you see nonsense can also cause us (girls) to weep! Oh I cry every day!”

Regarding the second question, let me try to analyze the mentation of a thief. To be precise, the mentation of a well-off thief who works in a software company. Is it the excitement and adventure that makes him do it? To steal and observe the reaction of others from the corner of his eye. Exciting, isn’t it? He can later go and sell the booty for some money! The excitement and the money – two birds in one shot! Yes...that might be the reason why they steal. Boy... they should be having a very active brain dipped in adrenaline.

My friend narrated this incident that happened in his college. During his 1st year, most of his batch mates started losing their stuffs including calculators, money, assignments etc. My friend himself had to buy three calculators in a year! Months passed before they finally caught the thief while he was submitting the stolen assignment. For the next one week this thief got royally beaten up. As soon as students see him, they would go and slap him on his face. For him getting slapped became synonymous to saying hi. He later moved out from the hostel to a rented house. He hoped his batch mates would forget and forgive him. That never happened. Soon he dropped off from the college. That is the last my friend heard about him. Was a theft worth an engineering degree? Was the reaction of the crowd appropriate? Think...

You love them; But you don't want them here!

Say, someone you love so much, who stays far away, is planning to come down to your city during the weekend. What will be your reaction?

This is important ==> Pause for a while. Close your eyes and savour the feeling.

Now try to imagine a sitation where you would feel sad that, that person is coming down? Think, Think, Think. You should be able to hit on a scenario. Else shame on you ;-).

Now imagine that really happening to you. How is it feeling?

Well... that just happened to me. My sis & family are planning to come down to my city. And I don't want them to come down coz I got an exam to bother about... :(

Calvin and Dilbert...

Left to your mentation...

Men Are Just Happier People! Really?

Another day...; Another fwded mail... that makes you think...

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Now take a look at the cartoon below and think...

Racist slur dissected

Get your "imagination" neurons activated... coz this mentation would need it.

Imagine you belong to a tribe/clan called Zaiku that has got its own customs and rich cultural heritage. You are very proud to be a Zaikuian. Imagine that you got a chance to travel to a foreign land. So you are out; walking on a street of the foreign land; enjoying the foreign environment, when this guy approaches you with a pleasant-warm-smile and says: "Zaiku?” What will be your feeling? Pride? Bemused? Sure you will feel happy. You should be able to taste a bit of pride in that happiness.

Now imagine the same guy approaching you with a smile that has written contempt all over it and says: "Zaiku?” What will be your feeling... and reaction? Bemused for sure. And pride won’t make an entry.

Let us take the 1st scenario. Say... you get a chance to talk to your friend and he tells you that foreigners respect "Zaikus" a lot. Will your heart suddenly start pumping Zaiku pride into your blood vessels? Most likely yes.

Back to the 2nd scenario: Your friend reveals that the foreigners use the word "Zaiku" as a racial slur. What will your heart start pumping now? Derision? You did feel that pain of being insulted by the 'racist' foreigner, didn’t you?

Let us step back and analyze what might have gone through your mind. Without your conscious knowledge, your mind might have created a "cultural hierarchy". And it dumped Zaiku at the bottom row. That ... and in fact THAT ONLY made you feel bad. Isn’t it?

Why do people get offended when they are called “a Niger", "a Paki" or whatever? They get offended because they have accepted that those words, which points to their race, is an insult! Their mind considers THEIR OWN RACE as an insult!

While reading Vikram Seth's Two Lives, I came across this paragraph which corroborates my theory

I had faced little of this kind of thing (racism) compared to Shanthum. A couple of kids at Tonbridge would delight in calling out to me, 'Boy!' when they saw me walking by myself near the sports fields; at first I was simply baffled by what they meant, but when it became clear that they were trying to be insulting, I was perplexed at a different level

I came across this news article about ICC's decision on anti-racism. What do you think about it?

Space Blog

Read the blog of Anousheh Ansari - the 1st space tourists. I must admit that it inspired me to book my tickets to ISS :D. I guess by the time I get old "spacing" like "trekking" will be common. I have added her blog to the list of "blogs I read".

There is one particular line of hers that I liked so much. It is her description of earth:

"Here it was, this beautiful planet turning graciously about itself, under the warm rays of the Sun... so peaceful... so full of life... no signs of war, no signs of borders, no signs of trouble, just pure beauty."

Btw, I didn't find those exact words in her blog but in another website. You can find some of the Space Tourists pics here

Best friend(s) vs Good friend(s)

How many best friends do you have? One?... two?... ten?... or none?

A good friend of mine threw that question to me. My answer? None. And the reason? I wasn't sure what a best friend looks like. I have got 'good' friends but perhaps no 'best' friend(s). Phat came the next question: What is the definition of a good friend? Since I had said that I don’t have any best friends, she spared me from defining what a best friend is.

The only definition I could think of was, a good friend is one whom I can (1) Call anytime AND (2) Spend my time with him/her easily. Add some ingredients like 'trustworthiness' and 'reliableness' to it and you will get the definition of a 'good friend'.

So how many 'good' friends do you have? Didn't someone say "When you die, if you've got five 'good' friends, you've had a great life"? I think it was Nicola Iacocca - Lee Iacocca's father.

Why the cook can't maintain the quality of "bulls-eye-double-side"

I normally have my breakfast outside; at a nearby mess. One of the items that I usually order is a "bulls-eye-double-side". “Bulls-eye-double-side” is a normal bulls-eyes with both the sides roasted. The exterior of the yolk part, like a lemon, will give you the impression that it is a bit hard. What lies inside is the tasty yellow liquid yolk. Put a little bit of black pepper and salt on it and devour it piece by piece. (I’m drooling)

I just love to slowly dissect the soft hard surface of the "bulls-eye-double-side" to find that yummy yellow liquid. It reminds me of a surgeon carefully working on his patient’s body. The only difference is that the surgeon won’t devour his patient at the end of the surgery; but I do. Ok, those who didn’t like that comparison, please erase that last line from your memory. Well, what I was trying to arrive at was that I am particular about a "bulls-eye-double-side" with a LIQUID yolk.

Coming back to the mess, what I have observed is whenever I place an order for TWO "bulls-eye-double-side", the cook fails miserably. What he would give me is TWO with HARD yolks. That never happens when I order for a SINGLE "bulls-eye-double-side". Placing an order for a SINGLE "bulls-eye-double-side" always produces a master piece. Isn't it a perfect example of quantity working against quality?

Resignation of a Software Engineer ... er Poet

A friend of mine fwded the poem given below. It is called the "Resignation of an Engineer who is a Poet at heart". Look how the author - a software engineer - has juggled with words. It is quite a treat to watch! This author - a software engineer - should have taken literature. He should be writing books. Instead, he is working in a software company writing "if, while, for" statements! All to keep his tummy happy.

Subj: What I want to say?

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is not good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!

The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.

Thanks & Regards
Employee



Manager Response

Reply: What I want to say?

The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad
Keep moving in life that is what I can say

If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want
Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them
That is what I can say

Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)
From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you
You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work

It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one
This is all what I want to say

Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)
Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any....

You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....
That is all what I want to say.

Thanks & Regards
Manager

Barber, don't dress my hair...! sniff sniff

Have you not seen some infants and toddlers crying when the barber dresses their hair? They simply can’t bear the sight of the scissor tearing down THIER dear hair. Seeing them cry out of 'pain', sometimes I wonder if their nervous system has expanded to their hair strands.

Sometime back, when I used to be a young child, I abhorred even the thought of cutting my hair just before my exams. A strange theory was behind it. I believed that when I study, some amount of info used to 'pass' to my hair. Cutting them will make me lose that info stored in my 'hair', resulting in I giving a poor show during the exams. Perhaps the story of Samson conjured my imaginations to inculcate that 'theory' in me.

I am wondering what 'theory' these infants and toddlers have in their mind.... Someday I hope to befriend one such kid or his/her parent and figure out the reason behind the weep and pain.

Me

The tale of two Oxes and my mentations...

This tall white ox with beautiful horns and toned muscles is a treat to watch. It is gentle and has a strict diet and exercise regimen. It works very hard; every day; earning each and every chunk of his bread. He is the bread winner of his owner too. But he lacks one thing - the scrotal sack with its content.

This spotted ox is short and has good flab. He does nothing all day. He has a big fan following though. I have spotted him on the top of a small hill surrounded by the fairer sex of his species. His balls are intact.

Question…

1. Are hard working guyz void of balls?
2. If the world realizes that one works hard, do they take their balls off?
3. Is the fairer sex attracted to balls and nothing else?
4. Once your balls are taken out, do you achieve enlightenment that makes you look down at having sex?
5. Am I crazy to find philosophy in an ox sans balls?

I think the last one is the right question to ask ;-)